Do I Look Like a Protagonist? Ways to Describe Your First Person Narrator

By Janice Hardy

Finding ways to describe your first-person point of view narrator isn't easy—and a few things not to do.

First person point of view has its own share of challenges, but one of the trickier ones is describing your narrator. You’re always looking out, never in, and it can be awkward to have your character talk about their own attributes. If done poorly, you wind up with a character who sounds incredible self-absorbed.

Before I suggest things to try, let’s start with some common clichés you don't want to do.

Stepping Out: A Look at Point of View Shifts

By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

Slipping out of your point-of-view-character's head can jar a reader right out of the story.

Years ago, I started a book and set it down before I'd finished the first chapter. The precise moment, was when a paragraph began in one character's head, and ended in another character's head. Even worse, those two characters were in different countries, so it wasn't as if it was an omniscient narrator with characters in the same scene. 

That point of view shift killed the book for me, and I've never tried anything by that author since.

If you're unfamiliar with the term, a point of view shift is when the author shifts out of the point-of-view-character's head, either into another character, or showing/explaining something that character couldn’t possibly know.

Do You Know Who Your Narrator Is?

By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

If you don't know who's telling your story, how do you know whose story you're trying to tell?

Before I dive in today...

A quick reminder that today is the last day to register for my online workshop, "How to Write Characters with Agency" on May 9. 

As for the SFF writers out there, the Fantasy & Sci-Fi Authors Summit runs May 13-17, with my session on The Power of POV in Shaping Narrative on May 13. 

Identifying your narrator seems like an easy job—they're the one telling the story, right? It's obvious with first person and third-person limited points of view, but once you get into third-person omniscient point of view, narrators can get a little murky.

An omniscient narrator stands outside the story, with access to multiple views, thoughts, and characters. They can be a faceless voice trying desperately not to be noticed, or a strong personality telling the story as they see it, with all the judgment and attitude of a strong character.

The more distant your narrator, the less connected they can feel to the story itself, and this holds true no matter which POV style you use. Are they the author? Are they a god-like being who sees and knows all? Do they change depending on which part of the story they're telling? 

Keeping Your Distance: How Narrative Distance Works in Your Novel

By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

The narrative distance in a novel has more impact on it than you might think. Especially when it comes to point of view.

Over the years, I've critiqued a lot of manuscripts, and a common area writers stumble over is narrative distance. They're not always sure what it is, how to use it, or how it affects their point of view.
If you've never heard the term before, narrative distance is that feeling of closeness (or lack thereof) between the reader and the characters. It's what makes the point of view feel close or distant.

There's no "right" narrative distance. It's up to the writer to decide where they want the reader to be, but it's easy to fall into a "limbo narrative" where it isn't clear where—or even who—the narrator is. When this happens, we often slip into telling or too much filtering and readers feel disconnected from the characters and the story.

Seems So: Are Your Characters Misleading Your Readers?

By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

Things might not always be what the seem. 

One of the many strengths of point of view (POV) is that readers get to experience the story world through the eyes of your POV character. And characters can assume incorrectly, have an unfair opinion, or just flat out be wrong. 

But sometimes ambiguity sneaks in there when you don't mean it to, and you're not actually saying what you intended to say.

Enter the word seemed.

Seemed isn't always what it seems. Sometimes it reads like an opinion the POV character is making, and others it reads like the author explaining what they know about the situation. And there's a wide gray area where those two overlap, due to narrative distance and point of view.  

How Point of View Can Solve Your Writing Troubles

By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

Point of view is one of the strongest tools writers have for crafting stories readers just can’t put down.

Whenever I’m asked to give “one tip that will help writers succeed,” I say, “Master point of view.” I’m a firm believer that understanding point of view (POV) can help you avoid most common writing problems—especially the newbie mistakes we all stumble over at the start.

Point of view a versatile tool that does more than just help you pick which pronoun to use, or if you should write in first person or third. It allows you to put yourself in someone else’s head, empathize with them, and see the world through their eyes, even if that world is different from your own. It’s what lets you be a storyteller and not just someone who plops details on a page in a logical order.

Here are five common problems point of view can help you solve.

Living in My Head: Crafting Natural-Sounding Internal Thoughts

By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

How to write tight, third-person internalization that feels natural to the character.

Getting inside a character's head is a key element to getting the reader to care about that character—love them, hate them, fear them, whatever the emotion you want to evoke. 

In first person this is easy, because you're already so close to their perspective the thoughts roll naturally into the story. With third person it can be more challenging, because there's an extra layer between the character and the reader. The narrative distance often determines how your internalization will sound.

A close narrative distance will make the internalization feel similar to first person (without the "I" of course). A more distant one will include tags such as he thought. Some will use italics, others will make it part of the narrative. The style is up to you.

((Here's more with Where Do You Want Me? Choosing Narrative Distance in Multiple Third Person).)

How Far is Too Far? How Narrative Distance Affects Telling

By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

There can be a fine line between a far narrative distance and telling.

Not all points of view use the same narrative distance. A first-person point of view pulls readers in close, while an omniscient point of view keeps them at a distance. Both are valid narrative distances, but the farther away you get from the reader, the riskier it is you’ll slip up and start telling instead of showing.

Maybe you pull away from the narrative for style, or because you want to show more than just what the point of view character knows. Maybe you aren’t comfortable inside a character’s head and don’t yet know what’s going on in there. Or maybe your point-of-view-skills are still a little shaky and you don’t even realize you’re doing it—until your get feedback with comments such as “this feels told” or “I felt detached from the character.”

I see this most often in third person point of view novels, where there’s already a layer of distance between reader and character. If you’re not solid in the point of view character’s head, it’s easy to forget who’s narrating the story and start explaining why characters act as they do, or what a character knows. If a distant omniscient narrator is your goal, that’s fine, but if you want a tighter perspective—that’s a problem.

Want a Tighter Point of View? Ditch the Filter Words in Your Novel

By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

If you’re using filter words in your writing, you might be inadvertently shoving readers out of your story.

No matter who your narrator is—a tight first person or an omniscient third—readers see the novel through their eyes. Sometimes this filter is invisible and readers don't notice any narrative distance between them and the point of view character. Other times, the filters are obvious and readers feel the wall between them and the characters. One narrative style looks through the eyes of the point of view character, the other looks at the point of view character.

Readers (and writers) have a variety of tastes when it comes to narrative distance and point of view. Some readers want to be inside a character’s head and part of the action, and some prefer to sit outside the action and watch. Where you put your narrator affects how the novel reads, and filter words—or lack thereof—helps you position that narrator.

Accessing Deep Point of View Via Description—A Writing Exercise!

By Bonnie Randall

Part of The How They Do It Series

JH: POV is a vital and powerful tool for writers. Bonnie Randall shares a fun writing exercise to sharper your point-of-view skills.

Shout-out to the cable news personality who recently described a certain Canadian Premier as a “demonic hedgehog.” It didn’t just make me laugh, it also inspired this month’s column on accessing Deep Point of View via descriptions.

The way an individual sees the world offers insight into how we, in turn, see that individual. In other words, a benevolent and soft-spoken anchor would be unlikely to pair demons with hedgehogs. A sarcastic wise-guy though…? It’s demonic hedgehogs all the way, baby!

Think of the last time a character in your fiction was in a setting. Was the sun blistering their skin, or was it beaming? Did that same sun illuminate everything they’d rather not look at, or did they have to squint away their chronic hangover? Andrew, the hero of my paranormal suspense Within The Summit’s Shadow—and an acerbic, pessimistic kinda guy—travels to Vancouver for a stakeout where he “Sat in the pissing rain. Typical Vancouver.”

Want Better Descriptions? Describe What Readers Won't Assume

By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

Writing better descriptions is easy when you take advantage of your point-of-view character.

I always chuckle a bit when I write about description, because I dislike writing description. I’m much more intrigued by what characters say, think, and do than what things look like, but description is necessary to craft a well-rounded story. In some genres, it’s vital.

Lucky for me, my attitude toward description actually helped me develop tricks to do the most with the fewest words possible—a valuable skill for any writer. Instead of writing a paragraph or two detailing what a room looks like, I assume the reader knows what a room looks like, then I pick specific details about that particular room, and show it through my point-of-view character.

I learned this trick a decade ago from author Kathleen Duey at the Decatur Book Festival in Georgia. During a panel, she brilliantly said, “Describe what the reader won't assume.”

Why You Should Know Who Your Narrator Is Talking To

By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

Your narrator has a bigger impact on the novel than you think.

Every story has a narrator–some narrators are the protagonist, others tell the tale as a group, and some lurk in the shadows or hover above the story like an all-seeing-eye. Sometimes we’re in someone’s head like an imaginary friend, other times we’re a fly on the wall. Whichever point-of-view style a writer chooses, it’s pointing at someone.

In grand terms, that someone is the reader, but it can be more subtle than that. Some novels break the fourth wall and address the reader directly, while others have their characters exist in a world that feels as if we’re watching it on closed-circuit TV.

4 Ways a Strong Point of View Strengthens a Novel

By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

Point of view is one the most valuable tools a writer has.

I think at some point in their writing journey, every writer goes looking for the “secret” to writing. Is it the perfect writing template? A members-only plot generator? The ultimate list of words to cut from our manuscripts?

Nah.

It’s point of view.

I’m a huge believer that mastering point of view (POV) will solve 99% of common writing problems. If a writer understands POV, then showing comes naturally, description is easier to write, character goals are clear, the stakes are personal, and thus stories feel more organic.

POV is all about being inside the character. To be inside a character you have to understand that character, and once you understand them, writing them becomes easier.

Tips on Writing "The Boring Stuff" Readers Tend to Skip

By Jenna Harte

Part of The How They Do It Series

JH: Readers skim when they read, especially if nothing is really going on in the story. Jenna Harte shares tips on keeping readers engaged in your novel.

Jenna Harte is a die-hard romantic writing about characters who are passionate about and committed to each other, and frequently getting into trouble. She is the author of the Valentine Mysteries, the first of which, Deadly Valentine, reached the quarter-finals in Amazon’s Breakthrough Novel Award in 2013. She has a contemporary romance series, Southern Heat, and a cozy mystery series, Sophie Parker Coupon Mystery Series. 

Romance authors can join her free writing community for support, accountability and more at WritewithHarte. Jenna loves talking to anyone and everyone about romance fiction. You can join her free romance fiction reader community, SwoonworthyHEA to talk romance with other readers.

 

Website | Goodreads | Facebook | Pinterest | Instagram | YouTube

Take it away Jenna...

An Easy Fix for a Tighter Point of View

By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

You might be inadvertently pushing your readers away from your novel.

Decades ago, a detached, omniscient point of view was all the rage.

Readers wanted to be told a story, so the stories read as if someone was indeed telling them. That style faded as readers sought a more immersive read, and tighter points of view became popular. The pendulum keeps swinging, and these days, readers read on both sides of the narrative fence.

What does this have to do with point of you, you ask?

Because narrative distance is what makes the different point of view styles feel different.

Regardless of who the narrator is, that’s the “person” readers experience the novel through. A tight first-person narrator, an omniscient third, a limited third, it’s all filtered through somebody’s eyes—their point of view (POV).

I'm Not Evil: Writing from the Antagonist's Point of View

By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

Should you write scenes in your antagonist's point of view? Maybe.

The first novel I ever wrote “for real” (with the intent to submit it to agents) used points of view from both the protagonists and the antagonists. It was one of those epic fantasy monstrosities with about twelve point of view characters and a backstory history I thought could become its own series (I shudder at the thought now).

This novel will never see the light of day, but it still has the best villains I ever wrote.

They were layered. They were compelling. They were interesting. But mostly? They were fun to both write and read about.

I had no idea what I was doing back then, so I think the reason they turned out so well was because I wrote from their perspectives. I had to know them to do that, so they became real people with real problems they were just trying to sort out, same as my protagonists.

Why You Should Have Judgmental Characters

By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

For a strong point of view, let your characters have strong opinions.

In real life, being judgmental might cause a few problems, but in fiction, it's something every character should aspire to. How characters—especially the point of view characters—judge the world around them shows readers what that world is like and how it works (and even non-genre writers need to world build, it's just a little different in the details).

Our characters see something, they judge it as it pertains to their personal views. If we write a scene where a girl walks a dog down the street, how our characters judge that will determine how we'll describe it and even how they'll react to it.

Someone afraid of dogs will see details that support that: large size, straining on a leash to bite them, big teeth. The judgment is "dogs are bad" and the reaction will reflect that.

How to Weave Setting Into a Deep Point-of-View

By Bonnie Randall

Part of The How They Do It Series 

JH: A sense of place can transport a reader to your story's world. Bonnie Randall shares tips on how deep point of view can enhance your novel's settings. 

The art of Deep Point-of-View projects everything within a scene through the unique lens of a character. Deep POV incorporates the goal / motivation / current conflict into this projection, but is also mindful of many other variables that make up the character, including:

• Gender
• Age
• Culture
• Ethnicity
• Geography
• Era/Generation
• Education / lack thereof
• Profession
• Beliefs
• World View
• Values
• History
• (And others).

I Hear You: Creating Character Voices in Non-POV Characters

By Janice Hardy. @Janice_Hardy

Just because a character doesn't have their own point of view, doesn't mean they shouldn't have their own voice.

Years ago, I saw a movie (one of my favorite, super-cheesy disaster ones) where five of the female characters had the exact same appearance. None of them were main characters, and before long it was impossible to remember who was who and what storyline they belonged to. Nothing they said or did stuck with me after that.

It was a perfect example of why not developing your supporting characters enough can mess up a perfectly good story.

Non-point-of-view characters run this same risk if they don’t have their own distinct voices. But without being inside their heads to help create that voice, it can be tough to make them sound different.

Let's look at ways to craft different voices for the characters in your novel.

How to Set Tone and Mood in Your Scenes

By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

Setting the right tone can go a long way to drawing readers into your story and keeping their attention.

I'm a little weird when it comes to scary movies. I enjoy (most) of them, but sometimes I also get so tense I can't watch them. I figured out ages ago it the music that gets me, not the scene itself. It pokes at my emotions, and builds the tension in a masterful way that raises my anticipation and fear. This also happens in games during boss fights or any mission with really stressful music.

When a movie or game starts getting to me, I mute the volume and all that built-up tension drops to the floor.

What do movie scores have to do with tone and mood?