Real Life Diagnostics: A Look at a Historical Short Story

Critique By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

Real Life Diagnostics is a weekly column that studies a snippet of a work in progress for specific issues. Readers are encouraged to send in work with questions, and I diagnose it on the site. It’s part critique, part example, and designed to help the submitter as well as anyone else having a similar problem.

If you're interested in submitting to Real Life Diagnostics, please check out these guidelines.

Submissions currently in the queue: Five 

Please Note: As of today, RLD slots are booked through January 17.

This week’s questions:

1. Does the sample establish enough interest in who the character is and what she is doing for a reader to continue?

2. Is there too much telling?

3. Are there any glaring grammar issues I’ve overlooked?

4. Any pointers are welcomed.

Market/Genre: Historical Fiction or General Fiction Short Story

On to the diagnosis…

Real Life Diagnostics: Creating Dread in a Short Story Opening

Critique By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

Real Life Diagnostics is a weekly column that studies a snippet of a work in progress for specific issues. Readers are encouraged to send in work with questions, and I diagnose it on the blog. It’s part critique, part example, and designed to help the submitter as well as anyone else having a similar problem.

If you're interested in submitting to Real Life Diagnostics, please check out these guidelines.

Submissions currently in the queue: Four (+ one resubmit)

Please Note: As of today, RLD slots are booked through August 23. The Sunday diagnostics will shorten that some if my schedule permits, but I wanted everyone to be aware of the submission to posting delay.

This week’s questions:

1. Tosha is 8 and Daniel is 10 - does this come across as likely in this opening scene?

2. Is there any sense that trouble is coming?

3. I'm not sure if my narrator is omniscient or if it's 3rd person, but shifting from one to the other. Either way, is it working all right?

4. Is it more showing than telling?

Market/Genre: Adult Short Story

NOTE: There's also a revised snippet about the boy trying to drink away his problem for those curios to see how the author reworked it.

On to the diagnosis…

Real Life Diagnostics: A Short Start: Are Short Story Openings Different From Novels?

Real Life Diagnostics is a weekly column that studies a snippet of a work in progress for specific issues. Readers are encouraged to send in work with questions, and I diagnose them on the blog. It’s part critique, part example, designed to help the submitter as well as anyone else having a similar problem.

If you're interested in submitting to Real Life Diagnostics, check out the page for guidelines.

Submissions currently in the queue: Five

This week’s question:

• How does this come across as an opening?
• Do you get a good sense of the narrator and her family set-up?
• Does it provide a reasonable sense that something big is about to happen, or already happening under the surface?
• How does the concept of the narrators wife's eyes changing color with her mood read?

Market/Genre: Short story, lesbian interest

On to the diagnosis…