Real Life Diagnostics: A Guy Walks Into a Bar...Setting and Secondary Characters

Real Life Diagnostics is a weekly column that studies a snippet of a work in progress for specific issues. Readers are encouraged to send in work with questions, and I diagnose them on the blog. It’s part critique, part example, designed to help the submitter as well as anyone else having a similar problem.

If you're interested in submitting to Real Life Diagnostics, check out the page for guidelines.

Submissions currently in the queue: Eight

This week’s question:

This excerpt is about 30k words in, and the main characters and settings have already been established. I'm introducing a secondary character and a completely different setting, and wanted opinions on whether I did it effectively. My questions:

1. Is the transition from setting to character smooth/effective?

2. Do you get a good sense of the setting, or is more needed?

3. What are your impressions of Caden, and would you want to read more about him?

And finally...Do you think the content is ok for YA?

On to the diagnosis…