Thinking to Myself: Internalization 101

By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

Unsure how to use internalization in your writing? Here's a rundown on what it is and what it does.

From a writing standpoint, internalization is what the character is thinking. It’ll comprise a lot of your narrative, especially if you have a tight point of view (POV), so it makes sense that it would be fertile ground for some common writing snags. POV shifts, infodumps, backstory, and the dreaded telling. 

Unsurprisingly, these all things that often occur when the writer forgets to be “internal” and looks at the scene from the outside. Internalization is personal. It’s often where you really get to know a character because they’re the most “them” in those internal moments.

The dictionary definitions for internalization are quite useful here:

Definition #1: to incorporate (the cultural values, mores, motives, etc., of another or of a group), as through learning, socialization, or identification.

If this doesn’t say “point of view” I don’t know what does. Looking at the world and people around you and making that part of your social identification. Internalization is a great tool for showing the world our character lives in and how they feel about that world. It’s perfect for crafting description that doesn’t come across as just a list of facts.

Good internalization can convey setting without resorting to infodumping or backstory. Try this example from The Shifter:

The main door loomed ahead. Had it always been so high? So wide? It swallowed me with a half dozen others and we milled in the antechamber. The usual shafts of late afternoon sunshine from the dome’s windows were nothing more than pale gray light today, veiled by the rain. Bleak light. Bleak mood. Bleak chances.

But not as bleak as Tali’s if I couldn’t get her out.

It’s description, but the details are all colored by how the narrator sees this world. And in this example, even those views are changing (which gives you a nice trick to show a character’s ideas evolving). A door the narrator once walked though without thinking sudden looks bigger (suggesting she feels smaller now, more vulnerable and helpless). Sunlight coming through windows now looks bleak, mirroring her mood and the chances of her succeeding in her scene goal. But what if you took out the internalized parts?

The main door loomed ahead, high and wide. It swallowed me with a half dozen others and we milled in the antechamber. The shafts of late afternoon sunshine from the dome’s windows were nothing more than pale gray light today, veiled by the rain.

I had to get Tali out.

Kinda flat, huh? No real sense of the world, just details on the page. It doesn’t make you worry, or set the mood, or give you any sense of the narrator.

(Here's more on writing natural-sounding internalization)

Definition #2: To make subjective or give a subjective character to.

Again, more POV. Things aren’t objective, but subjective. It’s the judgment your character brings to everything they say and think--they’re biased about what they see based on their own life experiences. How they were raised, what they believe in, what they hate and love.

Good internalization will show how that character is subjective to the world around them. Their opinions, their biases, their beliefs. One fun thing about this is that the character can be wrong, or have non-politically correct ideas, because it’s what they believe, not what the author thinks. I do this a lot in The Shifter because the narrator is very prejudiced against the people who have invaded her city and killed her family.

The wards gaped. The crowd stared. No one moved to help. Why would they? I was just some river rat and nobody questioned an Elder, though I’d bet a week’s lunches that if my hair was Baseeri black, someone would have stepped forward.

This is all the protagonist’s opinion of how she judges the situation she’s in. It shows her own bias toward the crowd and the Baseeri. She firmly believes that her low economical status and native racial appearance (she’s blond like most of her people) are the reasons no one is willing to help. That if she were Baseeri, folks would have defended her. This says a lot about her and the world she lives in, and it does it all by letting the reader see what she thinks about the world.

(Here's more on how much internalization is too much)

Internalization is also a great tool for handling infodumps. There are times when we need to convey information and there’s just no easy way to get it in there except for having the protagonist think about it. But if we keep it in their voice (let them internalize and judge what they’re thinking about) then it comes across more naturally.

Both paled when I mentioned the Luminary. We got a new one every year, like some rite of passage the Duke’s Healers had to go through to prove their worth. The new Luminary was Baseeri of course, and like all Baseeri who held positions that should have been held by Gevegians, no one liked him. He’d only been here a few months, but already everyone feared him. He ran the League without compassion, and if you crossed him, you didn’t stand a chance at getting healed if you needed it. You or your family.

This is all information important to the story, and it could have easily felt like an infodump. But the internalization here helps it slide in like just another idea. It shows the prejudices, the world, helps establish stakes and the bad guy the protagonist is eventually going to tangle with. Let’s look at this without the internalization:

Both paled when I mentioned the Luminary. We got a new one every year and this one was Baseeri like all the others. He’d only been here a few months, but already everyone feared him. He ran the League without compassion, and if you crossed him, you didn’t get healed if you needed it.

Bleh. This explains some facts, but do these flat facts make you care at all them having a new Luminary? Does it make you worry? I doubt it.

(Here's more on internalization and point of view)

While my examples are first person, this works no differently in third person. Internalization still focuses on what the POV character is thinking and how they see the world. Let’s take the above examples and make them third person.

Example One 

The main door loomed ahead. Had it always been so high? So wide? It swallowed her and half a dozen others and they milled in the antechamber. The usual shafts of late afternoon sunshine from the dome’s windows were nothing more than pale gray light today, veiled by the rain. Bleak light. Bleak mood. Bleak chances.

But not as bleak as Tali’s if she couldn’t get her out.

Example Two 

The wards gaped. The crowd stared. No one moved to help. Why would they? She was just some river rat and nobody questioned an Elder, though she’d bet a week’s lunches that if her hair was Baseeri black, someone would have stepped forward.

Example Three 

Both paled when she mentioned the Luminary. Geveg got a new one every year, like some rite of passage the Duke’s Healers had to go through to prove their worth. The new Luminary was Baseeri of course, and like all Baseeri who held positions that should have been held by Gevegians, no one liked him. He’d only been there a few months, but already everyone feared him. He ran the League without compassion, and if you crossed him, you didn’t stand a chance at getting healed if you needed it. You or your family.

There’s a slightly more distant feeling without the “I” but it still sounds like the POV thinking these things. Take out the internalization and these examples would all feel very told.

Writing Internalization
 
Internalization takes the general and makes it personal. As you study your own work, look for opportunities to show how your characters feel about their worlds and situations. Show their opinions and beliefs, let them think about what it means on a variety of levels. Are there places to show world building? A moral belief? An aspect of the character growth?

Sometimes a few words is all you need, especially if they're judgment words.  There's a difference between "It was Bob" and "It was just Bob" and "Crap, it was Bob." A little attitude can go a long way.

While not every detail needs to be internalized, they are opportunities to deepen your story and connect your reader to your character.

Find out more about characters, internalization, and point of view in my book, Fixing Your Character & Point-of-View Problems.

Go step-by-step through revising character and character-related issues, such as two-dimensional characters, inconsistent points of view, too-much backstory, stale dialogue, didactic internalization, and lack of voice. Learn how to analyze your draft, spot any problems or weak areas, and fix those problems.

With clear and easy-to-understand examples, Fixing Your Character & Point-of-View Problems offers five self-guided workshops that target the common issues that make readers stop reading. It will help you:

• Flesh out weak characters and build strong character arcs
• Find the right amount of backstory to enhance, not bog down, your story
• Determine the best point(s) of view and how to use them to your advantage
• Eliminate empty dialogue and rambling internalization
• Develop character voices and craft unique, individual characters 

Fixing Your Character & Point-of-View Problems starts every workshop with an analysis to pinpoint problem areas and offers multiple revision options in each area. You choose the options that best fit your writing process. It's an easy-to-follow guide to crafting compelling characters, solid points of view, and strong character voices readers will love.

Available in paperback and ebook formats.

Janice Hardy is the award-winning author of the teen fantasy trilogy The Healing Wars, including The Shifter, Blue Fire, and Darkfall from Balzer+Bray/Harper Collins. The Shifter, was chosen for the 2014 list of "Ten Books All Young Georgians Should Read" from the Georgia Center for the Book.

She also writes the Grace Harper urban fantasy series for adults under the name, J.T. Hardy.

When she's not writing novels, she's teaching other writers how to improve their craft. She's the founder of Fiction University and has written multiple books on writing.

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