3 Easy Edits for Better Emotional Descriptions

By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

The wrong words can flatten the right feelings—learn how to spot them and breathe emotion back into your scenes.

Ever read a scene that should hit you right in the feels, but somehow doesn’t? The words are there, the setup is solid, but emotionally, it falls flat. 

That disconnect often comes down to the wrong word in the right place. A frown where there should be fear. A smile that doesn’t carry the weight of what’s unspoken. 

The smallest word choices can make or break a reader’s emotional connection—and when that connection breaks, so does their investment in the story.

The right word can mean the difference between connecting emotionally with a reader and having them forget a character’s name. The more they connect, the more likely it is that they’ll love the story. The more they love the story, the more likely they are to tell all their friends about it and buy the next one. 

Don't Let Your Characters “Nod” Off

By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

Over the last few months, I’ve been focusing on individual words and phrases that can hurt otherwise good writing. Today, I’d like to call “nod” into the spotlight.

Characters nod a lot in novels. Often, it’s right before they utter words that echo this agreement. For example, She nodded. “Exactly my thoughts as well.”

There’s nothing inherently wrong with a line like this, but it is a bit redundant, and the nodding doesn’t add anything to the scene. Sure, it reinforces what’s being said, and it gives the character an action, and might even help clarify who’s speaking in the scene, but if you cut it, nothing changes.

The Freedom of Placeholder Words in First Drafts

By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

Some days I’ll be writing along, feeling the words flow, then get to a line where I know there’s a particular emotion or concept I want to show, but I’m not exactly sure how to represent it. 

Smiled doesn’t quite cut it, giggled is too much, and the great writing momentum I’ve built up slams to a halt while I figure out what to say. The longer it takes, the more frustrated I get, and on really bad days, it can derail and entire writing session.

Luckily, I figured out how to deal with these hiccups without ruining a perfectly good writing day.