Real Life Diagnostics: Creating an Evocative Mood in a Memoir

Critique By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

Real Life Diagnostics is a weekly column that studies a snippet of a work in progress for specific issues. Readers are encouraged to send in work with questions, and I diagnose them on the blog. It’s part critique, part example, and designed to help the submitter as well as anyone else having a similar problem.

If you're interested in submitting to Real Life Diagnostics, please check out these guidelines.

Submissions currently in the queue: Seven

This week’s questions:

I am trying to be evocative without over-doing it or being too obvious. Can the reader picture this scene and/or feel a part of it? How can I create a certain, in this case reflective, mood?

Market/Genre: Memoir

On to the diagnosis…

Real Life Diagnostics: That's Life: Connecting to Readers With Your Memoir

Real Life Diagnostics is a weekly column that studies a snippet of a work in progress for specific issues. Readers are encouraged to send in work with questions, and I diagnose them on the blog. It’s part critique, part example, designed to help the submitter as well as anyone else having a similar problem.

If you're interested in submitting to Real Life Diagnostics, check out the page for guidelines.

Submissions currently in the queue: Four

This week’s questions:
Is the reader likely to be touched by the scene? If not, how can I improve the scene?
Am I showing, not telling?
Have I depicted the scene clearly?

Market/Genre: Memoir

Note: Fair to say I'm not a memoir writer, but the questions apply to any story, so I'm giving this one a whirl. Any memoirists out there please chime in.

Additional Note: There's also a revision of an older post for those curious. An update for the snippet with the young noble woman and the falcon, where the author was asking about pacing and hooking the reader. Pop on over to see how they tweaked it.

On to the diagnosis…