How Could You Do This to Me? When Characters Betray Other Characters

By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

Betrayal can come in many forms, and most of them make for great stories.

The always fabulous Donald Maass wrote about reversals over at Writer Unboxed a while back, and there was one tip he gave that I actually had to disagree with a little. (I know, I was shocked too.) He was suggesting various ways you can shake things up in your novel, and one of them was:

What’s the worst betrayal this character could do? Do it.

But in 2011 (when I first wrote this), I’d been seeing the unexpected betrayal everywhere. It had gotten so bad it was verging on cliché. Instead if a betrayal surprising me, I was playing the “I wonder which one of these allies will turn on the hero in the third act?” game. I knew it was coming, and more times than not, it did.

For a few years, betrayals had become the go-to twist in young adult novels. The "trusted mentor suddenly turning on you" was the most common, but betrayals were coming from all quarters. Close friends, random people, family. They started to feel a bit deus ex machina to me. It was like yanking off the mask at the end of Scooby Do and seeing Old Man Withers.

Luckily, that trend has passed, and while we do still see betrayals (they are fun after all), they're more varied these days. And more in line with what I think Maass was saying.

Back then, the betrayals I keep reading about were all the “turn against you and side with the bad guy” types in the climax, which is only one type of way a character can betray another. But the “worst” betrayal doesn’t necessarily mean "turn you over to the bad guy. " There are many ways to betray someone, and this is what I think Maass meant by “the worst betrayal.”

Let’s look at the official definition of betray:

1. To deliver or expose to an enemy by treachery or disloyalty.
2. To be unfaithful in guarding, maintaining, or fulfilling: to betray a trust.
3. To disappoint the hopes or expectations of; be disloyal to.
4. To reveal or disclose in violation of confidence: to betray a secret.
5. To reveal unconsciously (something one would preferably conceal):

There's a lot more here than "be working for the bad guy all along" writers can utilize in their stories. A character doesn't have to be a bad guy to betray the protagonist--they just have to mess up in a big way.

Let’s look at ways characters can betray each other:

1. To deliver or expose to an enemy by treachery or disloyalty. 

This is your standard “oh no, our trusted friend was the bad guy’s minion all the time” variety.

2. To be unfaithful in guarding, maintaining, or fulfilling. 

This is a great and personal betrayal that doesn’t have to be “turning on you.” Protagonist’s rely on their friends and sidekicks, so if someone doesn’t do what they promised, that can be bad. Maybe the best friend is always there where the protagonist needs her, and she swore she’d be there for something very critical. Maybe the betrayal is that she isn’t there. And not in a “something kept me from it” way, but an “I chose not to do this” type action. Unexpected, but also something you can lay ground work for and use afterward to deepen the conflict.

3. To disappoint the hopes or expectations of; be disloyal to. 

When someone lets you down, it’s hard to trust them again. You second guess them, question them. Isn’t that a great way to raise tension and suspense in a story? Let the protagonist be unsure they can trust or count on someone they always could before. Maybe someone isn’t who the protagonist thought they were and they find this out in a horrible way that hurts them. There’s a reason parents use that “I’m not mad, I’m disappointed” line. It hurts. Even better, it hurts on both sides.

4. To reveal or disclose in violation of confidence: to betray a secret. 

Giving away secrets can cause lots of trouble. Better still, folks tell secrets for all kinds of reasons, and you can even mix this with some of the other betray definitions. Maybe the sidekick reveals a secret in order to help, thus betraying a confidence and an expectation of trust. Look at all the conflict you can have there!

5. To reveal unconsciously (something one would preferably conceal).

This is about betraying yourself, but I think it can work just as well with others in a story. Someone says the wrong thing or acts the wrong way and tips the bad guy without meaning to. Someone tries to be loyal to the protagonist, and that loyalty is the very thing that the bad guy picks up on to use against the protagonist. This is almost as common as #1, but could still be effective.

Betrayals are a handy way to do the unexpected, but take a few minutes to think about how you’re doing it. Are you using the clichéd version that probably won’t surprise anyone, or are you being more subtle about it? Is it a betrayal that will truly hurt the protagonist and deepen the story, or is it just a way to cause trouble and send the protagonist after the antagonist? If it’s just for shock value, perhaps reconsider it.

Betrayals can cut deep, so use them wisely.

Have you noticed an increase in betrayals lately? Have you ever written a betrayal? Does your story hinge on one? If so, what type are you using? 


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Go step-by-step through revising character and character-related issues, such as two-dimensional characters, inconsistent points of view, too-much backstory, stale dialogue, didactic internalization, and lack of voice. Learn how to analyze your draft, spot any problems or weak areas, and fix those problems.

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• Develop character voices and craft unique, individual characters 

Fixing Your Character & Point-of-View Problems starts every workshop with an analysis to pinpoint problem areas and offers multiple revision options in each area. You choose the options that best fit your writing process. It's an easy-to-follow guide to crafting compelling characters, solid points of view, and strong character voices readers will love.

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Janice Hardy is the award-winning author of the teen fantasy trilogy The Healing Wars, including The Shifter, Blue Fire, and Darkfall from Balzer+Bray/Harper Collins. The Shifter, was chosen for the 2014 list of "Ten Books All Young Georgians Should Read" from the Georgia Center for the Book.

She also writes the Grace Harper urban fantasy series for adults under the name, J.T. Hardy.

When she's not writing novels, she's teaching other writers how to improve their craft. She's the founder of Fiction University and has written multiple books on writing.

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