What Your Query Says About Your Book

By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy


The query letter is a valuable tool for writers. Not only does it help them clarify their idea, it's the letter that will hook and agent or editor, or become the cover copy that will make a reader buy the book. Writing one is a smart move, whether you're going indie or traditional publishing.

The query letter is the first impression your manuscript will make on someone, and when it doesn't make a good impression, it's not uncommon to ask (often in frustration), "How much can you really tell about my book from a query anyway?"

A lot, actually. And not just about the book.

A Query Sums up an Author, Too

Since a query is short and tight, any inherent flaws in your writing are magnified. Prone to passive voice? Odds are it'll show in the query. Use a lot of cliches? There are probably some in that pitch paragraph. Could your manuscript use some tightening? Yep, that'll show, too.

The good news is: just as the flaws are shoved forward, the good traits and skills also shine through. That's why a not-so-great query can still catch an agent's eye. Because the writer's strengths come through even if the query needs a little work.

Before we go on...queries are hard to write for many writers, and it's possible that the novel is great but the query is not. But if you've been getting a lot of rejections or bad feedback on a manuscript, examining the query is a good place to start looking for potential problems.

Let's look at some common query issues that could be what's holding your manuscript back.

The Manuscript Is Almost There, but Still Needs Editing

The query isn't written at a professional level. There are extra words, repetitious phrases, and weak nouns and verbs that suggest the manuscript will likely have the same issues. It could be because the writer moved too fast and submitted before they were ready, or it could be they need to learn a few more polishing skills. If this is why you're being rejected, there's hope for that manuscript yet. Tighten it up, put a shine on it and you could find yourself getting requests instead of rejections.

(Here's more on how to be your own book doctor)

The Manuscript Has a Weak Plot 

If you can't sum up the core conflict of your novel in a few paragraphs, there's a decent chance you're not sure what it is or it's not strong enough in the novel. You might even have a premise novel without an actual plot. But the problem is at the heart of the story, and until that gets figured out and revised, the book won't be strong enough to stand on its own. Find that core conflict, clarify those goals, and you'll be back in business.

(Here's more on finding your plot)

The Manuscript Has No Voice

The query is where your voice should shine, but if all you're doing is describing events, the sense of the storyteller will be missing. Is your query more focused on the what and not the why? Then there's a good chance the novel reads the same way. A bland query often means the novel is just as flat. Let your voice and what's unique about your novel come through.

(Here's more on developing your narrative voice)

The Manuscript Lacks Focus

A query that rambles and introduces five characters and six plots in three paragraphs is a pretty good indication that the novel has way too many things going on. Multiple points of view, tons of subplots, and none of them really connect to any one major storyline. Find your real story and weed out the subplots, and your novel can start getting attention.

(Here's more on narrative focus)

The Manuscript Has No Stakes

A query that can't tell you why the events of the story matter is one that probably has low to no stakes. This implies your characters are acting for plot reasons and not because they want anything on their on, and there's a good chance there's not a lot of narrative drive. Determine why your plot matters to your characters and up those stakes, and you'll keep readers turning the pages. 

(Here's more on getting to the heart of your story) 

Queries make fantastic diagnostic tools, because they really do boil the essence of your novel to one page. If there's a major flaw in that novel, it'll rise right to the surface. Next time you're having a hard time with your query, take a step back and see if it's the novel itself that's the real problem.

How do you feel about query letters? Love them? Hate them?  

For more help on plotting or writing a novel check out my Plotting Your Novel: Ideas and Structure.

Go step-by-step through plotting and writing a novel. Learn how to find and develop ideas, brainstorm stories from that first spark of inspiration, develop the right characters, setting, plots and subplots, as well as teach you how to identify where your novel fits in the market, and if your idea has what it takes to be a series.

With clear and easy-to-understand examples, Plotting Your Novel: Ideas and Structure offers ten self-guided workshops with more than 100 different exercises to help you craft a solid novel. Learn how to:

• Create compelling characters readers will love
• Choose the right point of view for your story
• Determine the conflicts that will drive your plot (and hook readers!)
• Find the best writing process for your writing style
• Create a solid plot from the spark of your idea

Plotting Your Novel: Ideas and Structure also helps you develop the critical elements for submitting and selling your novel once it’s finished. You’ll find exercises on how to:

• Craft your one-sentence pitch
• Create your summary hook blurb
• Develop a solid working synopsis And so much more!

Plotting Your Novel: Ideas and Structure is an easy-to-follow guide to writing your novel or fixing a novel that isn’t quite working. 

Available in paperback and ebook formats.

Janice Hardy is the award-winning author of the teen fantasy trilogy The Healing Wars, including The Shifter, Blue Fire, and Darkfall from Balzer+Bray/Harper Collins. The Shifter, was chosen for the 2014 list of "Ten Books All Young Georgians Should Read" from the Georgia Center for the Book.

She also writes the Grace Harper urban fantasy series for adults under the name, J.T. Hardy.

When she's not writing novels, she's teaching other writers how to improve their craft. She's the founder of Fiction University and has written multiple books on writing.

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