Hey, Still with Me? Poking Dead Scenes With a Stick, Part One

By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

Revisions aren't for weaklings. They're hard, they take commitment, and sometimes you have to make the tough call and decide the fate of a scene that isn't pulling its weight. 

I've been deep in a revision for a few months now, looking at each scene with a critical eye. Is it advancing the plot or story? Is it serving the story in any way? Is it a scene that should stay, or do I need to kill it?

I've been lucky so far, and most of the scenes are indeed doing their jobs, but I have had to kill a few that weren't. It's always hard, because there's usually something in that scene I liked, otherwise it never would have made it this far.

But cutting dead scenes from a manuscript improves the novel as a whole. It's just not always easy to know if we should.

To be clear, I'm talking about problem scenes, not scenes you know are working.

Let's look at ways to tell if a problem scene has gotta go:

The first thing to ask is: If I cut this scene, would anyone but me care or even notice?

If the answer is no, cut the scene. Sometimes it's easy, other times it's like ripping off a body part--especially if it's a scene you love, but it no longer (or never did) serves a purpose.

If deleting it hurts, go ahead and move it to a new file called "cut scenes" and save in case you need it later. That way you still have it, but it's no longer gunking up the manuscript.

If the answer is yes, then odds are there's something in the scene that either appeals to you (a darling) or conveys vital story information. Cutting the scene will cut that detail and cause problems to the overall story.

If the answer is maybe...

These are the tricky scenes. The scene itself isn't working, but you're sure if you cut it, the novel will suffer. But you just can't seem to get it to work.

Try pinpointing why this scene would be missed, and write it down. 

There's a good chance there's a vital bit of information in that scene that's needed, even if nothing else is. Cut and paste that important bit into a new file so you know what you're trying to salvage.

If you're just not sure, go line by line and ask, "Can I cut this?" and cut everything where the answer is yes. It'll be choppy but that's okay. The goal is to save what's vital--you'll find another home for it in a minute.

Most often, the things on this list are:

• A well-written line you love.
• A bit of character history or motivation you think is cool or important to know.
• Something that was once important to the plot, but no longer is.
• A cool description or world building moment.

Now look at each item you want to save:

If it's a well-written line, you probably have to cut it. 

Be ruthless. Kill scenes that don't work.

I know, you don't want to, but it's called "Killing Your Darlings" for a reason. Many a writer (myself included) has forced an entire scene just to get one kick-ass line in there.

You know those movies and TV shows where there's a big buildup to a joke, and you think, "Wow, they really worked hard for that one." And then the joke isn't nearly as funny as all the work it took to get there. This is the writer's equivalent.

Sometimes you can find another place for it, but inmost cases, cutting it--and the scene--makes the novel stronger.

(Here's more on No Pain, No Gain: Killing Your Darlings)

If it's a bit of history or motivation, look to see where else in the book this bit could go.

You might have to tweak the text a little to make it fit, but odds are it could easily slide into a scene that's already working.

Look for similar context.

• If the history is about your protagonist's childhood, where else do they think about children or growing up? 
• If it's a bad memory, are there any scenes where remembering this would make it harder for them to deal with what's happening? 
• For motivation, where else are they acting based on this same motivation? 
• Are there any spots that could be deepened if this bit was the motivating factor?

(Here's more on Goals-Motivations-Conflicts: The Engine That Keeps a Story Running)

If it's something that was once important, determine if it's still important or not.

I call bits like this "revision smudge," because they're bits of text that used to matter, but the reason why was edited out so they no longer do.

• Was this an idea you went with for a while, but a better one showed up three chapters later and you built the rest of the story on that? 
• Can this idea be woven into something else? 
• Are there any other places where this idea would deeper the conflict or stakes? 
• And the hard one...is this an idea you really like, but doesn't fit the story anymore?

Finding revision smudge can be a challenge, because our minds think the text works. We remember why it needed to be there. The easiest way to find and remove these leftover bits of text, is to read the novel start to finish in one or two sittings. It's much easier to spot continuity errors that way.

(Here's more on Improving Your Writing Without Raising Your Word Count)

If it's description or world building, look for other places it can go.

World building or setting details can almost always go somewhere else, and the ones that can't usually don't need to be there in the first place (otherwise the scene would be working).

• Does it evoke a certain mood that you can use to enhance another scene? 
• Is there a perfect spot where the world building detail can be illustrated and not explained? 
• Is there a better place to show it if it is indeed shown well?

(Here's more on How to Write Description Without Going Overboard)

Some items on your list might need tweaking to fit elsewhere and that's okay. Sometimes, just breaking them down and looking for other places to put them is enough to make you realize what you have works fine, and it's just too much effort for too little gain to put those bits back in. Getting it out of the story makes you realize you don't need it at all.

Be ruthless, the story will be better for it.

And for more tips on bringing a dead scene back to life, here's part two.

Are there any dead scenes in your current WIP? How ruthless are you with them? Is it easy to cut or hard to kill? What's keeping you from cutting a scene you fear (or know) isn't working?

*Originally published August 2010. Last update February 2020.

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Janice Hardy is the award-winning author of the teen fantasy trilogy The Healing Wars, including The Shifter, Blue Fire, and Darkfall from Balzer+Bray/Harper Collins. The Shifter, was chosen for the 2014 list of "Ten Books All Young Georgians Should Read" from the Georgia Center for the Book.

She also writes the Grace Harper urban fantasy series for adults under the name, J.T. Hardy.

When she's not writing novels, she's teaching other writers how to improve their craft. She's the founder of Fiction University and has written multiple books on writing.

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