Monday, August 30, 2010

Dawn of the Blue Fire Contest

NOTE: To keep the contest up top so folks can find it, I changed the date to the "due date." New posts will be found below, so just scroll on down.

Okay, so I wanted a better zombie-themed title, but it's hard to get zombie and Blue Fire in the same sentence. Anyhoo...

The second of three shiny new copies of the next book in The Healing Wars trilogy is up for grabs! This time I'm going for silly fun that has more to do with the blog than the book (though there is something in the book that everyone says would make a great name for the undead, and probably would have wound up the title if it hadn't screamed "undead" and there are no undead in the book)

The rules are simple:

1. Tell me a zombie joke in the comments section. Puns also work. Heck, for this, I'll even accept links to funny zombie videos or other media. All it has to be is zombie and funny. The winner will be my favorite zombie humor.

2. Anyone can enter, except Wen, who won last time.

3. Post your joke by 7am EST on August 30, 2010. I'll read through all the comments and choose a winner some time that day.

EDIT: Rule #4: One joke/entry per person, please.

Last joke contest I had folks email them directly, but this time I'm making them public so those who have the same joke can try a different one. (And so that everyone can enjoy) On the off chance that you have an off-color entry, you can email me at blogquestions (at) yahoo (dot) com.

And that's it!

One interesting thing, if you've ever been curious how much editing can be (and sometimes is) done after an ARC goes out, this is the book for you. We didn't fiddle with the story any, but the disclaimer "uncorrected proof" on the cover isn't kidding. I went through several more rounds of polishing since this ARC was printed. The text is a lot tighter in the final version. Could be fun to see the before and after from an editing study perspective.

Good luck, all!

The contest starts NOW!


  1. first off: that's a waycool cover image. i hope you've sent the illustrator a box of chocolate and/or a bottle of something good and/or your firstborn child as a sign of appreciation and gratitude. (sending teenaged firstborns, sadly, does not count)


    Two zombies walk into a bar and... um, wow. I got nothin'. I'm drawing a complete blank here.


    -- Tom

  2. ditto on the cover. I love the cityscape detail especially!

    You've probably seen this already because everyone loved it, but it's the only thing I could think of off the top of my head, and it's worth watching again.

    Here is Jonathan Coulton's song, Re: Your Brains.

  3. Great cover--I'll post this contest on our blog next Monday. If Carrie Harris see this, she'll definitely win because she has more hilarious zombie videos than anyone in the universe! :)

  4. oh, love the cover! I'm so excited to read the next book!!! If only I knew a zombie joke so I could be entered to win the ARC!! Bummer!

  5. Love the cover too!

    Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?

    ...No, they eat the fingers separately.

  6. (I'm not entering! Don't enter me!) :D

    I just wanted to say I'm halfway through my ARC (got slowed down by dislocating both shoulders at once and taking meds that made reading a lot more hilarious than it should be), and I am loving it! Enter, people, you won't regret it!

    (remember, I'm not entering!) :D

  7. That's very interesting about ARCs and revisions -- I had no idea!

    And here's my joke attempt:

    What's red and white on the outside but gray and white on the inside?

    Campbell's Cream of Zombie Soup!

    Baaaaad, I know.

  8. I know, it's often done, but...

    It's ZOMBIE Twilight!


    Disclaimer: I'm not suggesting this out of hatred of the original work. I like Galaxy Quest, too, and I'm something of a Trekkie.

  9. What kind of streets do zombies like the best?
    Dead ends...

  10. This is off the top of my head and totally bad.

    What do you call a zombie who looks like Alexander Graham Bell

    A dead ringer.

  11. What do vegetarian zombies say?

  12. Ok, I'll try something. *grins*

    A zombie walks into a bar, sits down at the counter, and asks the bartender for a Bloody Mary.

    The bartenders says, "I'm sorry, we're all out. you should have come an hour ago. But we do have taquilla."

    The zombie starts to freak out. "You can't serve Taquilla to a zombie! That's an abomination!"

    The zombie was getting so upset that the stitching along its neck was starting to come loose.

    "Geeze mister!" Said the bartender, disgustedly pointing to the creature's neck. "It's just a drink! Don't completely loose your head!"

    Ok, that was pretty bad, but it wasn't aweful for having just been made up. *grin* And I'm not a big zombie fan, so... yeah for me! :D

  13. Well I had to look one up does that count.

    "3 zombies were walkin down the road one says hey look a zomie and the other one say thats no zombie thats my MOTHER!!!!"

    I went here

  14. Got a lot here for you;

    What did the zombie’s friend say when he introduced him to his girlfriend?
    Good grief! Where did you dig her up from?

    How do you know a zombie is tired?
    He's dead on his feet.

    What do little zombies play?
    Corpses and Robbers.

    What did the zombie get a medal for?

    What's a zombie say when he gets a letter from his girlfriend?
    It's a dead-letter day.

    Where do zombies go for cruises?
    The Deaditerranean Sea.

    What did the zombie eat after its teeth were pulled out?
    The dentist.

    Why did they find a disembodied head inside of a piano?
    A zombie forgot it when he was trying to play by ear.

    What has a Dogs Head, a Cats tail, and brains all over its face?
    A Zombie coming out of the pet store.

    Why did the zombie cross the road?
    He wanted to eat the chicken.

    "What kind of underwear and socks do zombies wear?

  15. Thanks all, I'm thrilled with the covers. Brandon Dorman does them and he's fantastic.

    Wen, glad you're enjoying it!

    Story Weaver, love the enthusiasm, but I'm gonna have to ask you to pick one joke for your entry :) It's not really fair to "enter" multiple times, though I forgot to say one joke per person. My bad :)

  16. Whoops!
    Okay then...just count the first one.
    Thanks! :)

  17. Jess took my joke. Just a second, let me remember another one:

    Why did the zombie lose his lawsuit?
    He had no leg to stand on.

    P.S. Great looking cover. Never thought you'd have more work to do after the ARC. Go figure...

  18. Okay, I made this joke up myself, even tho it seems like a no-brainer (hee hee). I have never made up a joke before, so prepare to be underwhelmed.

    Why did the zombie ask the professor to lunch?
    He wanted to pick his brain.

  19. I can't wait till Blue fire comes out

    What did the Zombie say after eating a Comedian?
    That tasted funny!

  20. These zombie jokes are cracking me up! I got an ARC of Blue Fire when I went to ALA - giving it away when you come tell your Story Secrets at my blog, Janice!

  21. Zombie Pirate

  22. Zach Zombie says to Zelda Zombie, "That guy has a terrible mind."
    Zelda Zombie says to Zach Zombie, "Just needs salt."

    Ba dum dum.


  23. Awesome Holly!

    Such great jokes. Going to be hard to choose!

  24. Just for you, a zombie haiku:

    Clean behind your ears
    It's Sunday dinner at Grandma's
    Guess who is dessert?

    Muahahaaa...couldn't help myself. Is there anything better than a zombie poem?

    Angela @ The Bookshelf Muse

  25. Here's a zombie Haiku in the style of Dylan Thomas: (written by Ryan Mecum, not me)

    Do not go gentle
    into that zombie plagued night.
    And take the shotgun.

  26. I've got nothing, but this is lots of fun to watch!

  27. Two zombies walk into a bar on Capitol Hill. The first one sits down and says to the barkeep, "Brains, please." (Because even zombies ought to be polite).

    The barkeep looks at him and says, "You're not from around here, are you?"

    The barkeep serves him a White Russian, who manages to say, "For the love of Trotsky!" before the first zombie starts gnawing on its leg.

    The second zombie says, "I'll have what he's having," and slaps his money down on the bar so hard that the end of his index finger flies off.

    The bartender looks at it lying on the bar and the zombie says, "It's okay, you can keep the tip."

  28. Here's one I found:

    The baby zombie asks her mother “Mommy, do I have daddy’s eyes?”

    The mother says “Yes you do honey! Now eat them before they get cold!”