Monday, December 17, 2018

First Look at a First Draft: How to Revise Your Manuscript

By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

A first draft is a wonderful thing, but it always needs more work.

There's something exciting and rewarding about a first draft. The story that's been in our heads is finally down on paper and we can see how it developed. Sometimes it unfolded exactly how we pictured, but more often we encountered snags here and there and discovered fun twists and plots as we wrote. The draft might even be, shall we say, a little messy.

And that's okay, because first drafts are often messy and filled with holes. It's what you do with it from here that really matters. As the adage goes...writing is rewriting.

(Here's more on If at First You Don't Succeed...Then You Know You're Writing a First Draft)

During that first look, I like to start with the macro structural issues, because if they aren't working, no amount of polishing the text is going to help. It's much easier to do the heavier rewrites in draft form before the story becomes mentally "set in stone." Drafts are supposed to be messed with. So I recommend analyzing your goal and plot structure to make sure your story has something driving the plot, reasons for those somethings to be happening, and that you keep building your stakes to the end.

Why is this important?

Because readers won't stay with you long if the story isn't going somewhere. 

(Think about all those books you set down after a chapter or two, or movies you turned off after twenty minutes) This doesn't apply just to boring scenes or slow scenes, you can actually have action-packed scenes that still bore readers, because the plot isn't advancing and nothing new is being revealed. Readers want to see the story progressing. They want to see things getting worse and the stakes getting higher.

Step One: For every scene, ask yourself four questions:

  • What is the point of view character (protagonist) trying to do?
  • What goes wrong?
  • What does the point of view character (protagonist) do about it?
  • Why does this matter?
These questions capture the basic goal-journey-disaster structure of a scene.

(Here's more on Taking the Scenic Route: Scenes and Sequels)

In The Shifter, my opening scene looks like this:

What is the point of view character (protagonist) trying to do? Steal eggs for breakfast.
What goes wrong? She gets caught.
What does the point of view character (protagonist) do about it? She uses her shifting ability to get away.
Why does this matter? Someone sees her do it, and now her secret is out.

The "Why does this matter" is a key component of building a strong story. Plenty of things can always go wrong, but not all of them will move your story along toward the climax. (Even if that climax is still 70,000 words away). 

Knowing why it matters not only clarifies the character's motivation, it clarifies plot and stakes.

(Here's more on What's at Stake? How to Make Readers Care About Your Story)

You can either mentally check this, or write it down. I like writing it down because it forces me to pinpoint the major plot points of the book. I can easily see which scenes are moving the story and which aren't. Some folks like using flash cards for this, so they can shuffle them around or take them out to see how the book flows when they cut or move scenes. You can also create a book map for an easy reference guide to how your novel unfolds.

(Here's more on How to Create an Editorial Map) 

There are bound to be some scenes where you find you can't answer one or more of these questions very well. Usually the "what are they trying to do" and "why does it matter" ones. 

This is a good indicator that this scene might not be needed, or it's missing the goals and narrative drive to advance the story. These are scenes you might want to edit first. Either cut them, or find a way to make them work. Sometimes all it takes is having the protagonist say what it is they're trying to do to make it all clear and refocus the scene. Not every edit needs to be a substantial one.

Step Two: Once you have all your scenes down, read through your list and see how the story flows. 

You should be able to see plot progression from opening scene to resolution. Everything marching toward that end climax. You should see your stakes escalating, where things keep getting worse and worse, and more personal to your protagonist. They want this goal badly, or else. If they can just walk away without any repercussions, chances are your stakes aren't personal (or high) enough. Now is a great time to edit your outline or book map since you can see the entire novel in summarized form.

(Here's more on Clarifying Thoughts: Revising Your Outlines to Make the Writing Easier)

Step Three: Take note of anything that feels repetitious. 

I don't know about you guys, but I always find a few scenes that feel similar in every first draft. Maybe the details are different, but, for example, it's still two scenes where someone sneaks into a house to steal evidence, or two fight scenes over the girl, or two chase scenes through the city. Or the protagonist might use the same trick to get out of a jam, or resolve similar issues in the same way. They might all be good scenes, but if they feel like the same scene all over again, it's likely going to bore my reader.

Look at your list and ask yourself: Are your characters being put in the same situation too many times? Do they do the same thing to resolve the issue too often? Are there slow areas where nothing really happens? Scenes where it's all explanation? Are there chains of scenes that don't raise the stakes?

This list is also good for checking chapter breaks. Does every chapter end on something that leaves the reader hanging and wanting to know what happens next? Do the chapters clearly build toward your climax?

(Here's more on Writing Great Endings -- And Not Just the Big One)

Step Four: Look at your overall character motivations. 

Sometimes we get so caught up in how the plot unfolds, we forget to make sure the characters are doing all these great things for a plausible reason. Ask yourself if those reasons work to answer the story question--what the book is about, that one-line sentence that sums up the book. Is the character acting in a way that makes sense given their personality and that situation, or are they acting just because plot tells them to? Do the motivation get more desperate as the story progresses? (a good indicator of rising stakes) Does the resolution fulfill the motivations and the reasons for acting?

(Here's more on Two Questions to Ask for Stronger Character Goals and Motivations)

Getting a look at the big picture goes a long way toward making the overall revision process easier. By the time you get to the polishing stage, you'll know your story is solid and all you have to worry about is making the text sing.

What do you look for in a first draft? 

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Revising Your Novel: First Draft to Finished Draft Omnibus starts every workshop with an analysis and offers multiple revision options in each area. You choose the options that best fit your writing process. This easy-to-follow guide will help you revise your manuscript and craft a strong finished draft that will keep readers hooked. 

Available in paperback and ebook formats.

Janice Hardy is the award-winning author of the teen fantasy trilogy The Healing Wars, including The Shifter, Blue Fire, and Darkfall from Balzer+Bray/Harper Collins. The Shifter, was chosen for the 2014 list of "Ten Books All Young Georgians Should Read" from the Georgia Center for the Book.

She also writes the Grace Harper urban fantasy series for adults under the name, J.T. Hardy.

When she's not writing novels, she's teaching other writers how to improve their craft. She's the founder of Fiction University and has written multiple books on writing.
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  1. Great post!

    The "why does this matter" question is really important...I think action without a purpose is referred to as "ninjas", right? Throwing in a catalyst just for the heck of it, without it really be pertinent to the story. :)

  2. Yeppers. :) It probably has a few other names too, but the concept in the same. Stuff for the sake of stuff.

  3. As always, another great post and something new for us aspiring writers learn :)

  4. Just wanted to de-lurk and say I've really been enjoying your blog. It's great that you offer advice about the writing process! The detailed examples are a big help.

  5. Just about to jump into this whole revision thing. Thanks so much for this post!

  6. This is what I've had to learn over the last year. There's so much more to that second draft than continuity or spelling checks.

  7. Thanks for the reminder to check the macro as well as the micro! :)

  8. This is exactly where I'm at in my WiP, so this was a very timely post. Thanks for the tips! I'll definitely be using them. :)

  9. Short and sweet checklist - perfect!

  10. All the perfect questions for revision. Thanks!

  11. I've gone back to a story after about eighteen months. I wrote it in a burst of inspiration, and loved the way the story unfolded and told itself.

    It was my first, and I had been so proud when I had finished it, I sent it off straight away to a publisher which had been open to unsolicited mss for a narrow window of time.


    Now upon re-reading it, I cringe!
    Sure, the grammar and punctuation are passable, and I still believe the story is worthwhile, but - gosh! It needs one heckuvalot of work. I fell into the trap of including entire passages for the sake of a punch-line. Your checklist is very timely, and I will use it as I apply the editing scythe.

  12. This will be very useful when I have a first draft to look at!

  13. Great post. Of all the books and articles I've read this article has summed everything up in simple steps. This is convenient because I just finished a first draft to a novel. I want to link this article back to my writing blog and use your suggestions but twist them a little if you don't mind. I will put your website and credit all over the post. Great post again!

  14. Great advice! I'm just beginning my first edits on my first completed draft of a novel -- this is just want I needed! :)

  15. Anaele-Ihuoma-ImminentRiver4/20/2012 10:00 PM

    My novel Imminent River was surging happy-go-lucky towards a publishing house until it encountered your damming restraint. Like a snail, it has withdrawn to its shell, WiP all over again! When it re-emerges,permit me to say it could cause a stir, not just with redolent reeds along it banks.Now how's that for impact?

  16. Thanks. This will greatly help me in editing my Nano novel.

  17. Thank you for a clear and precise post. I am reviewing my first draft and this by far the best resource I have found.

  18. Thanks! Always nice to hear the blog is helping folks.

  19. I did that very thing. As soon as my MS was finished, I whipped it off to a publisher. Now I keep it as a reminder, "don't do that ever again!."
    The publisher I sent it to was very kind, I'll always reminder that. :-)

    Thanks for a great post!


  20. Mary, I think that's a writer rite of passage :) I'm not sure I've ever met a writer who hasn't done that. That's nice that the publisher was kind, too.

  21. The first thing I start with is a very fast edit. I actually got this idea from the book Write Your Way, where the author differentiates between outliners and organics (he calls them plungers). A lot of junk can come into an organic writer's story, like tangents, or even just a paragraph of something that didn't go any further. With a fast edit, I can clean these out first so that I don't have them in the way. When I took Holly Lisle's How to Revise Your Novel, she advocated not doing any editing whatsoever until all the problems had been identified. I ran into so much trouble with this because there was so much junk that had wandered in and could have been deleted. I actually had trouble figuring out what was wrong with the story because I was mining through so much of this stuff!

  22. Terrific post here. I'll be posting and mentioning, re-blogging part of it today.
    Especially like tip about repetition...I tend to do that, and it's good to back and weed out the redundancies!