Real Life Diagnostics: Writing for Younger Readers

Real Life Diagnostics is a recurring column that studies a snippet of a work in progress for specific issues. Readers are encouraged to send in work with questions, and I diagnose them on the blog. It’s part critique, part example, designed to help the submitter as well as anyone else having a similar problem.

If you're interested in submitting to Real Life Diagnostics, check out the page for guidelines.

Submissions currently in the queue: Two

This week’s questions:

This is my first real attempt to get this book finished.
1) Is this appropriate for elementary age (3rd 4th and up)?
2) Is the language too passive?

On to the diagnosis…