Bulking Up: Fleshing Out a Too-Short Novel

By Janice Hardy, @Janie_Hardy

What can you do when your novel is too short?

Despite writing fantasy (which is known to be looooong), I typically write sparse first drafts. I'm not a fan of heavy description, and only add the bare minimum to my drafts unless nudged by a critique partner to describe more. I even have a beta reader specifically for this, since I know it's a weakness of mine, and a strength of hers.

My first drafts are full of "white rooms" and conversations in sketchy locations (and not the good kind). I always need to do a revision pass that focuses on description to make sure I add all those details in.

Which means my first drafts are almost always too short.

Sparse-draft writers come in many flavors, and while my quirk is description, others might scrimp on stage direction, or action, or even internalization. Whatever their preferences, they wind up with a draft that needs bulking up instead of the typical trimming down most writers endure.

If you're a sparse writer, here are things to do to hit your target word count.  

First, let's clarify what "too short" means for this discussion. Novels tend to be as long as they need to be, but I'm referring to manuscripts aiming for a particular word count for a particular market that wind up short of that goal, such as a 50,000-word NaNoWriMo novel that needs to be 70 or 80,000-words for the market you want to publish in. Or a 60,000-word draft in a genre that the average book length is 90,000 words. Or even something very short, such as a 40,000-word draft that needs to double in size to be marketable.

First, Diagnose the Manuscript for What's Missing 

You won't know what to develop if you don't know what's missing, so start there. Analyze the manuscript and determine if you have a sparse manuscript that needs some fleshing out, or a novel that's short on plot. A sparse novel may not need any macro work, while a short-plot novel will need some major additions. That's a much more serious revision than simply bulking up where needed.

Clarity Check: Is Everything Clear? 

Make sure the characters' motivations are solid so readers can understand why characters are behaving as they are. Check to see if the stage direction is good and readers can follow what's happening in a scene. Are the dialogue tags clear so there's no confusion over who is speaking? Also make sure there's enough backstory to inform readers about the significance of events--often this gets left out because we're terrified of having too much.

(Here's more on Get What's in Your Head Onto the Page)

World Building Check: Is the Setting Well-Drawn?

This is true for real worlds as well as crafted worlds. Have you done enough with your setting so the world feels real? Are you using specifics or generalizing the setting? There's a difference between tree and cactus, and one conjures up a clear and particular image, while the other does not.

Real-word writers--have you used enough specific details to make your setting come alive? It's easy to say "New York" and let readers fill in the blanks, and then end up with a flat and lifeless world. Don't forget the details that make your setting unique or interesting.

If the world is created, a lack of details might leave readers confused and ungrounded, especially if you used a lot of made up words for things. Make sure you've developed that world enough on the page for readers to truly see it.

(Here's more on How to Write Description Without Going Overboard)

Internalization Check: Are You in Your Point-of-View Character's Head Enough? 

You know why your protagonist acts as she does, but are you getting that all on the page? Pretend you know nothing about her or her history. Are the things readers need to know clear? Short novels often have lots of action, but the emotional aspect is missing.

In some cases, the characters are also a little thin, so if this it your sparse area, it's not a bad idea to also check your characterization. Make sure your characters are acting from real goals and motivations, not just because plot told them to.

(Here's more on Are You Showing or Telling Your Internalization?)

Action Check: Are You Telling or Summarizing What's Happening and not Letting it Unfold? 

Action doesn't just mean fight scenes or chases--it's what the characters physically do in the story. A lack of action often means a lot of summarized paragraphs or told passages that explain "what happened" to readers. Even something as simple as, Bob asked her what happened on the ridge, is stealing the action. That's an opportunity to dramatize and show that same conversation through dialogue.

A lack of action can also mean you're in your point-of-view character's head too much. Strange as it sounds, action scenes can be boring to write, so it's easy to scrimp on them to get to the more interesting emotional stuff. But it's the balance between head and heart that make the story work.

(Here's more on Finding the Right Balance With Your Stage Directions)

Where are you now? Have you fleshed out enough to hit your word count goal? No? Then take the next steps.

Plot Check: Are You Hitting All the Necessary Story Beats? 

Look at your plot. Is it too easy to go from inciting event to resolution? Traditionally, you have at least four major events in a novel (there are more depending on your structure choice, but these are the basics):

• The "holy cow, this is gonna be a problem" moment
• The "oh crap, I had no idea it was this bad" moment
• The "there's no way we're making it out of this alive" moment
• The "okay, if that's the way you're wanna play it" moment

Basically...

1. Inciting event and first realization of the story problem.
2. The first major upset that shows the protagonist they can't fix this easily.
3. The realization that everything they've done is for naught and they're likely going to fail.
4. The decision to take the final problem head on.

Each step requires multiple steps to get to, and the stakes will get progressively higher as you reach these steps. If any of them are skipped, that could be a reason why the novel is coming up short.

If you haven't skipped any, are there any events that might need a step or two more to accomplish? 

Look for places where if the protagonist didn't win, or things didn't go in her favor, you could tack on a scene or two and add more conflict. Be cautious though, because you don't want to just have tasks take longer. Look for places where the stakes will also go up if the protagonist fails instead of succeeds. Or places where you can edit to raise the stakes if she fails. You want to maintain that sense of things getting worse and worse or you'll end up with a lot of "stuff" happening that doesn't move the story forward.

(Here's more on Diving in the Deep End: Strengthening Your Plots)

Subplot Check: Do You Have Any Subplots?

Take a peek at your subplots. Are there any spots on your main plot line that can be developed by braiding in your subplot? Can you deepen any of them to give something else in the novel greater meaning? Can they affect the stakes in any way?

Were there any spots where you started to go off on a tangent but reeled yourself back in? Those might be areas your subconscious thought would be fun story places to go, and there might be opportunities lurking there. Potential subplots could come from tangents not taken.

(Here's more on Oh, What a Tangled Web We Weave: Crafting Subplots)

Conflict Check: Are the Choices and Obstacles too Easy?

Easy-to-resolve problems also cut into a novel's word count. Look out for problems that ought to take effort and multiple tries to solve, but instead zip through the struggle phase and go directly to the victory. Adding more difficulty to those conflicts can flesh them out and make the victory all the sweeter.

Also look for spots where decisions are made. Are the choices too easy? Does the protagonist always make the right one? How can you make them harder? And not just physically harder, but emotionally tougher as well. What happens if the protagonist makes the wrong choice versus the right one, or messes up completely?

(Here's more on Don’t Make This Common Writing Mistake: Creating Cardboard Conflicts)

Backstory Check: Did You Cut Out Too Much?

I know, sacrilege for me to even suggest it, but would the story improve if you revealed some backstory? Maybe an area that could be dramatized or illustrated to shed new light on something already in the novel? You don't need to add a full-on flashback, but a memory might trigger a different action or response in a character and take the story to a new place, or offer a new obstacle to overcome.

(Here's more on What to Do When Your Novel's Too Short)

Things You Probably Shouldn't Do When Fleshing Out Your Novel

When a novel comes up short, the first instinct is often "Let's add more X!" But adding more X usually changes more than just the word count, and you end up with a major rewrite or even a different novel than you started with. Think long and hard before you:

Add a Subplot

This seems like the easiest way to add words, but unless it's connected to the main storyline and woven in with the same skill and relevance as the other subplots, it often ends up feeling tacked on. Sometimes a subplot is the way to go, but make sure it fits and improves the whole story.

Add a Character

Ditto here. Adding someone new throws all kinds of wrenches into the mix, some good, some bad. A new face might give you plenty of places to add some extra lines, but what do they add to the story? If that new character doesn't bring out elements that were already there (but hidden) then you may just want to leave them out.

Add Description

The whole point in adding words to a short manuscript is to make it more interesting, not add words that are frequently skimmed by readers. Unless you have a novel that is truly sparse on description (and this happens, I do it all the time), don't load up readers with unnecessary details.

The key thing to remember when you're bulking up a novel is to be true to the story. Look for ways to tell that story, deepen those characters, and keep the reader guessing what will happen next.

Do you have a sparse novel you want to flesh out? Was it a NaNo novel? Do you typically write sparse and then flesh out, or write long and cut back? (or do you usually hit your word count?) 

*Originally published April 2010. Last updated June 2020.

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Janice Hardy is the award-winning author of the teen fantasy trilogy The Healing Wars, including The Shifter, Blue Fire, and Darkfall from Balzer+Bray/Harper Collins. The Shifter, was chosen for the 2014 list of "Ten Books All Young Georgians Should Read" from the Georgia Center for the Book.

She also writes the Grace Harper urban fantasy series for adults under the name, J.T. Hardy.

When she's not writing novels, she's teaching other writers how to improve their craft. She's the founder of Fiction University and has written multiple books on writing.

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