Put Up Your Dukes: Crafting Dynamic Fight Scenes

By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

A strong fight scene is more than just who throws the punches.

One of the first fight scenes I ever wrote was for a fantasy novel, so it involved swords and daggers and a lot of fancy footwork. I wanted to keep track of who did what and where they were, so I used little pewter figures from my D&D box. Step-by-step, I moved the figures around and had my "characters" act out the fight.

While this was a useful way to keep track of the movements, it made for a pretty boring scene, because I focused way too much on the mechanics and not enough on the story.

This is a common problem with fight scenes. Describing the fight isn't the same as showing the action.

 
Fight scenes are fun to watch in a movie because they're fast, they show off athletic skill, and they usually have some serious cool moves and choreography. You see it happen in real time and there's no slow down in the action.

Reading a description of the same scene doesn't create the same excitement or enthusiasm. Writing it out takes longer than doing it, so the scene tales longer and feels slower. 

Let's look at a short (two minutes) fight scene from The Matrix Reloaded.



It's a fun scene, full of cool moves and neat special effects that show Neo and his superpowers, easily besting the agents in a quick fight. The action, the music, and the slow-mo moments add to the scene's excitement. 

Now let's describe that scene. (I pick it up at 1:08 when the fight actually starts)

"He's still only human."

An agent stepped forward and kicked at Neo. Neo ducked backward and the agent's foot whooshed by. He kicked again, but Neo blocked with his forearm. Kicks flew, Neo blocked, so fast it was all a blur. The agent switched to punches, but still Neo blocked, almost as if he wasn't even trying. He slapped every punch away. Then the agent grabbed Neo's fist and held it right in front of his face.

"Hmmm," Neo said. "Upgrades."

He grabbed the agent's arm and trapped it under his own. The other two agents rushed in, throwing punches, but Neo dodged them all. He spun, grabbing the agent's arms and bending them behind their backs, dancing out of the way of every punch. One darted forward and Neo kicked him back, then turned and punched the middle agent. The agents flailed like windmills but Neo was too fast, moving before their punches could land. Two swung at once and he slapped them away.

He knocked another set of punches away and leapt into the fray, jumping high and kicking at the agents as he passed over. The agents flew across the room and crashed into the walls. One fell onto the stone steps.

Neo landed and looked back, hands up and ready to deflect the next flurry of agent attacks. An agent grabbed Neo's arm and flung him upward. Neo grabbed a post and swung around it, kicking the agent with both feet and sending him flying. He smacked into the wall in a cloud of dust and fell face first to the floor.

Neo fought the remaining two agents. One tried to slam him to the ground but he flipped around his arm, kicking the other away before landing back on his feet. The last agent threw a punch and Neo ducked, circling around to the side, dodging every swing. He back flipped out through the door as the agent tried in vain to hit him.

Neo stopped and turned, sending the final agent flying with a well-placed roundhouse kick. He slammed into a lamppost and collapsed to the street. The lamp's glass fell and shattered all around them.

Neo scanned the area. A crumpled sheet of newspaper blew around the empty alley.

How many of you actually made it through the entire passage without skimming? And that was only forty-five seconds of footage. (from 1:08 to 1:53) Imagine trying to write a longer fight and how tedious it would get if you tried to show every punch or action.

When writing fight scenes, describing the blow by blow gets repetitious fast. 

Within a few lines it turns impersonal, and then confusing, and before long readers don't care anymore and they skim ahead to the next line of dialogue.

Things You Can Do to Make Fight Scenes More Compelling for Readers 

1. Use the point of view character to put readers in the fight.

Fight scenes often fall flat because the author pulls away to describe the scene from afar, but being inside the POV character's head is where the drama is. What they feel, think, and how they see the fight has much more impact that the physical punches.

Let's show some internalization to this scene and see what happens:  

"He's still only human."

Really? Neo smirked. That was more than these clowns.

The first agent charged and kicked at his head. Neo ducked backward and the agent's foot whooshed by, way closer than they normally got.

"Hmmm," Neo said, shifting to a defensive stance. "Upgrades."

They came at him all at once, arms swinging, legs flying in a blur. Neo spun, deflecting every punch.

It won't win any awards, but it's more interesting to read because we see the person behind all those punches. This scene would continue of course (I won't drag this on by describing it further) using the same mix of action and internalization and keeping it personal the POV character. Just without so much blow-by-blow description.  

Keep your point of view character in the fight so it's more than just a description of punches. 

(Here's more with 4 Ways a Strong Point of View Strengthens a Novel)

2. Remember the goal so the fight has drive.

A goal-less scene lacks drive because the reader doesn't see what the point is. They don't know why the protagonist is doing what they're doing, or even what they're trying to do in some cases. Fight scenes are even worse because the fight is rarely the point—it's the result of the fight or the reason for the fight that matters.

In The Matrix snippet, the goal is stated before the fight even starts—the people at the meeting need to escape, and Neo will hold off the agents. Viewers know going in why the fight is happening and won't need a reminder since the scene is so short. But for readers, the scene is longer and throwing in a small reminder during the fight can remind them why the fight is important.

"The meeting is over, retreat to your exits. Agents are coming."

"Agents?"

The steel door dented inward.

"Go."

The door cracked and shattered. Three agents advanced.

"Hi fellas," Neo said.

"It's the anomaly. Do we proceed?"

"Yes."

"He's still only human."

Really? Neo smirked and stepped forward, blocking the door. That was more than these clowns.

The first agent charged and kicked at his head. Neo ducked backward and the agent's foot whooshed by, way closer than they normally got.

"Hmmm," Neo said, shifting to a defensive stance. "Upgrades."

They came at him all at once, arms swinging, legs flying in a blur. Neo spun, deflecting every punch. Hurry Morpheus. Get our people out of here.

As this fight continues, you could even break up the action by showing Neo keeping in touch with his people or trying to decide if they had enough time to get away. Or he might just try to put the agents down as fast as possible.

It's doesn't take much, but a few words here and there shows what Neo is trying to do and keeps the scene moving from a plot standpoint. 

(Here's more with Beware the Vague Goal When Outlining a Scene)

3. Make the stakes clear so readers care about the outcome.

If there's a fight, there's a reason, so let readers know what's at stake if the protagonist loses or things don't turn out in their favor. High stakes will make readers care and keep the tension high—something you want in every fight scene.

Let's layer in some stakes to our previous scene:  

"The meeting is over, retreat to your exits. Agents are coming."

"Agents?"

The steel door dented inward.

"Go."

The door cracked and shattered. Three agents advanced.

"Hi fellas," Neo said.

"It's the anomaly. Do we proceed?"

"Yes."

"He's still only human."

Really? Neo smirked and stepped forward, blocking the door. That was more than these clowns.

The first agent charged and kicked at his head. Neo ducked backward and the agent's foot whooshed by, way closer than they normally got.

"Hmmm," Neo said, shifting to a defensive stance. "Upgrades."

They came at him all at once, arms swinging, legs flying in a blur. Neo spun, deflecting every punch. Hurry Morpheus. Get our people out of here. He couldn't hold them off all day.

He caught a glimpse of Trinity before Morpheus dragged her away. For her, maybe he could.

Obviously I made the last part up, but protecting his friends and the woman he loves is all part of Neo's character in the movie, so it's easy to assume that would be on his mind if this were a book. It also raises the stakes from protecting friends to protecting someone he cares deeply about. It makes it more personal. As this fight continued, any time the agents got the upper hand Neo might think about what would happen if they beat him and find renewed strength to keep on fighting. 

If a fight doesn't have something at stake, it's easy for readers to just skim through it. But if they care, they'll read every word.   

(Here's more with 5 Ways to Raise the Stakes in Your Scene)

4. Use the senses to bring the fight to life.

Fight scenes can easily focus on the visual and forget the other senses, but those senses help make the fight feel real and more visceral. Don't forget to add smells, sounds, the textures, and even the physical pain or exhaustion of the characters. Emotions can be a powerful element of a fight scene.

Let's layer in a bit more emotional description and tap into our senses and see how it reads:

"The meeting is over, retreat to your exits. Agents are coming."

"Agents?" Fear tightened his words.

Bang! The steel door dented inward.

"Go."

They ran. Neo braced himself as another bang shook the door, then another, and another, until the metal cracked and shattered. Three agents advanced.

"Hi fellas," Neo said.

"It's the anomaly. Do we proceed?"

"Yes."

"He's still only human."

Really? Neo smirked That was more than these clowns. He stepped forward into the light, blocking the way.

Silence for a heartbeat. The first agent charged and kicked at his head. Neo ducked backward and the agent's foot whooshed by, so close bits of gravel and sand stung his cheek.

"Hmmm," Neo said, shifting to a defensive stance. "Upgrades."

They came at him all at once, arms swinging, legs flying. Neo spun, deflecting every punch, every kick, ignoring the sting and the pain as the blows landed in a blur. Hurry Morpheus. Get our people out of here. He couldn't hold off these guys all day.

He caught a glimpse of Trinity before Morpheus dragged her away. Scared—for him, for all of them.

Okay, maybe he could.

Now it's really starting to feel like a scene from a novel, and less like a description of a movie. You can use different senses as the fight plays out, starting more visual and then getting more visceral as Neo tires or starts to feel the pain of his attackers. 

A little can go a long way, and aim for just enough to flesh out the scene but no overpower it. Too many can slow the pacing and bog the scene down.  

(Here's more with 5 Ways to Convey Emotions in Your Novel)

5. Have a point to the fight, and the scene.

The most important aspect of a fight scene is what you want the scene to convey to the reader, and how it serves the story. If the point is to show your protagonist has bad ass skills, then have them exhibit those skills. If it's to show how they back down and run when things get tough, then show just enough of the fight to show things getting tough, then have them back down. 

It's not about the punches—it's about the reasons those punches are being thrown (or swords being swung or guns being shot, or whatever your fight scene entails).

Also think about how long you want to let this scene run. If you find yourself slipping back into pure descriptions of punches and nothing personal, that's a red flag that the fight might be over and it's time to wrap it up. Let it do what it needs to do and then get out.

(Here's more with How to Write Kick-Ass Action Scenes (Part 1))

When you know why a fight scene is there, it's easier to know how to choreograph it and what to show, because you'll know what matters to the scene. 

You can describe the elements that show those larger reasons and help move the story forward. You'll show how it affects the protagonist and what they're worrying about. You'll mix in  the right sensory details and use them to enhance the emotional layers of the scene and the story. Basically, you'll turn a description of movement into a story readers can dig into and care about.

EXERCISE FOR YOU: Take five minutes and examine a fight scene in your WIP. How does it serve the story? Consider how you ight tweak it to layer in sensory details and bring the readers deeper into the scene.

How do you feel about fight scenes? Do you read every punch or do you skim? 

*Originally published March 2014. Last updated July 2023.

Find out more about setting and description in my book, Fixing Your Setting & Description Problems.

 

Go step-by-step through setting and description-related issues, such as weak world building, heavy infodumping, told prose, awkward stage direction, inconsistent tone and mood, and overwritten descriptions. Learn how to analyze your draft, spot any problems or weak areas, and fix those problems.

With clear and easy-to-understand examples, Fixing Your Setting & Description Problems offers five self-guided workshops that target the common issues that make readers stop reading. It will help you:

• Choose the right details to bring your setting and world to life
• Craft strong descriptions without overwriting
• Determine the right way to include information without infodumping
• Create compelling emotional layers that reflect the tone and mood of your scenes
• Fix awkward stage direction and unclear character actions

Fixing Setting & Description Problems starts every workshop with an analysis to pinpoint problem areas and offers multiple revision options in each area. You choose the options that best fit your writing process. It's an easy-to-follow guide to crafting immersive settings and worlds that draw readers into your story and keep them there.

Available in paperback and ebook formats.

Janice Hardy is the award-winning author of the teen fantasy trilogy The Healing Wars, including The Shifter, Blue Fire, and Darkfall from Balzer+Bray/Harper Collins. The Shifter, was chosen for the 2014 list of "Ten Books All Young Georgians Should Read" from the Georgia Center for the Book.

She also writes the Grace Harper urban fantasy series for adults under the name, J.T. Hardy.

When she's not writing novels, she's teaching other writers how to improve their craft. She's the founder of Fiction University and has written multiple books on writing.

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