4 Tips on Writing Action Scenes

By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

A good action scene starts with the character. Seriously.

I love action in my entertainment. Books, movies, TV shows, even games. I also enjoy a great story to go with it, but I like the external forces that cause the true nature of a person to bubble to the surface. I want to see what people do and discover why they did it. 

At this point in my career, writing action comes pretty easily to me, but that wasn't always the case. My early work was way too descriptive in how my fight scenes played out—I explained every detail, I created special names for fighting styles and whatnot. It took longer to read the action that it did to actually perform the action.

Which is the opposite of what you want when it comes to writing action. 

 

Action scenes can be tough to create because it's easy to focus too much on the action and not enough on the character in peril. 

We throw in long descriptions, and stage direction sneaks in and what the character does takes center stage. We often ignore what the character thinks and feels during that burst of action.

And that's bad. Because those emotions are what make or break an action scene. "Action" can even be confusing  for a lot of writers, because one writer's version of action might not be the same as another's.

So for the purpose of this post, when I say "action," I'm talking about the good old fashion fight scene or car chase type. Characters in physical peril.

(Here's more with Put Up Your Dukes: Crafting Dynamic Fight Scenes)

For compelling action, get inside a character's head.

It's almost counterintuitive, but showing the thoughts and feelings of an active character makes for better action sequences. Readers care about the characters and need that emotional connection to create the tension a good action scene requires. 

Even if it's only a word or two, they want to know how the characters feel about what's happening to them so they can understand the stakes. They want to know what those characters are going to do next so they can anticipate what might happen and be drawn into the story. Without that emotional connection, the action is just details on a page.

There's no set rule for how much emotion to put into an action scene, but I try not to let too many straight descriptive paragraphs go by without hearing from my point of view character in some way. I'll add a line of dialogue, some internalization, something that puts the reader back inside the point-of-view-character's head and re-establishes that connection. 

From a purely structural standpoint, these emotional pauses also help break up the text to better control the pacing. 

Description slows down the narrative, while dialogue (even internal dialogue) speeds up the narrative. Long chunks of text encourage the reader to skim, especially if it's an exciting action sequence and they're eager to see how it turns out. 

But even when readers skim, they typically stop to read the dialogue (spoken or internalized), because that's usually where characters make decisions, and decisions are where the plot happens. So mixing up the scene helps keep the reader reading and not just jumping to the next set of dialogue lines.

(Here's more with Bob and Weave: How to Mix Character Actions and Internal Thoughts)

Let it get personal. 

Stakes are critical to an action scene. Think about those summer blockbuster action flicks with a ton of action, but not a lot of story. They're good, but sometimes you just kinda sit there and wait for it to be over, even though it is cool to watch. Was there ever any fear that things wouldn't turn out fine for the hero? Was the outcome ever in doubt? You don't want to do the literary equivalent with your own action scenes. Make sure your stakes are personal to your protagonist.

Action happening to someone we know or care about is much more interesting than something happening to a stranger. If the reader doesn't care, there will be no excitement.  

Stakes also help make whatever the problem is larger than life, because it matters to your protagonist. The opening of The Shifter works because readers care about Nya getting her breakfast. But all she's doing is trying to steal a few eggs. It's not earth-shattering, the world won't end, it won't even matter to anyone else but Nya. 

But that's the key. To her, it's a huge deal. It has major repercussions. And if readers like her, they'll care about how this problem turns out.

(Here's more with Ready, Set...Where's the Action? Keeping Informative Scenes Tense)

Add a surprise or revelation

If the outcome of your action scene really isn't in question, there's no reason to read it. What matters isn't the action, but whatever happens at the end of it. But if the outcome isn't predictable, and there's a chance to learn some new information, readers start paying more attention.

Don't make it all about the action. 

Share a secret, show a talent the character hadn't yet revealed, have them discover something that affects the plot. Give readers an informational reward for watching your action scene. Once they discover treasures lurk within those scenes, they'll be eager to read every word, wondering what vital clue might be found.

(Here's more with The Joy of Discovery: Keeping Readers Hooked Through Story Revelations)

Pace yourself. Scenes that drag lose readers. 

Pacing is as critical to action scenes as stakes. The goal is to get the reader caught up in the action—get their heart beating, their breath racing, make them turn the pages as fast as possible. Consider how you write those scenes to maximize the tension and set the right pace.

Short sentences add speed. They create excitement and build tension. Long sentences slow things down and lessen the excitement, but they can work well to build suspense. 

Action scenes don't typically pause for long descriptive passages or deep thoughts, unless you're purposefully giving the reader a breather.

Watch out for choppy sentences or list-like passages that can jar readers and yank them away from the story. Keep an eye on your sentence structures and the rhythm of your words, and don't forget to vary them. Read the scene out loud if you have any concerns about how it flows. There's no better way to catch bad narrative flow.

Speaking of narrative flow... Since action scenes typically focus on stage direction, readers need to be able to follow along to understand what's going on. Tripping them up with awkward phrasing can knock them right out of the story and confuse them. You want your text to flow as smoothly as possible so it sucks in the reader and whisks them along like a leaf on the wind.

(Here's more with Tips to Understand and Control Your Novel’s Pacing)

Make it about more than just a blow-by-blow of what happens, and you can create gripping and breathtaking scenes readers won't be able to put down.

I'm not saying you need to turn your action-packed thriller into a Hallmark movie or anything, but reading about action is different from watching it unfold. But with a little character perspective and focus here and there puts readers in the action and not just watching the action. And then they'll hang on every word.

EXERCISE FOR YOU: Examine one of your action scenes and analyze them using the four tips above. Adjust as needed for your genre and target audience. 

What are some of your favorite action scenes from books, movies, or TV? 

*Originally published November 2010. Last updated October 2024.

Find out more about setting and description in my book, Fixing Your Setting & Description Problems.

 

Go step-by-step through setting and description-related issues, such as weak world building, heavy infodumping, told prose, awkward stage direction, inconsistent tone and mood, and overwritten descriptions. Learn how to analyze your draft, spot any problems or weak areas, and fix those problems.

With clear and easy-to-understand examples, Fixing Your Setting & Description Problems offers five self-guided workshops that target the common issues that make readers stop reading. It will help you:

• Choose the right details to bring your setting and world to life
• Craft strong descriptions without overwriting
• Determine the right way to include information without infodumping
• Create compelling emotional layers that reflect the tone and mood of your scenes
• Fix awkward stage direction and unclear character actions

Fixing Setting & Description Problems starts every workshop with an analysis to pinpoint problem areas and offers multiple revision options in each area. You choose the options that best fit your writing process. It's an easy-to-follow guide to crafting immersive settings and worlds that draw readers into your story and keep them there.

Available in paperback and ebook formats.

Janice Hardy is the award-winning author of the teen fantasy trilogy The Healing Wars, including The Shifter, Blue Fire, and Darkfall from Balzer+Bray/Harper Collins. The Shifter, was chosen for the 2014 list of "Ten Books All Young Georgians Should Read" from the Georgia Center for the Book.

She also writes the Grace Harper urban fantasy series for adults under the name, J.T. Hardy.

When she's not writing novels, she's teaching other writers how to improve their craft. She's the founder of Fiction University and has written multiple books on writing.

Website | Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest | Goodreads | Amazon | Barnes & Noble | iTunes | Indie Bound