tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post941285559210723408..comments2024-03-27T10:02:56.747-04:00Comments on Fiction University: Real Life Diagnostics: Diagnosing a Story Idea Janice Hardyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356672149097741248noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-7458148134332182322015-11-09T23:43:35.569-05:002015-11-09T23:43:35.569-05:00My only comment is about the shelter taking the 16...My only comment is about the shelter taking the 16yo and not the 14yo. I'm inclined to think of it the other way around. <br />This premise is good as it can really be fleshed out, just as the other commenters have proven. I really like the thought of the younger sister being the strong active one and the older brother being the intellectual one in need of physical protection. This makes me think, why was he abused to begin with? Why does his sister feel so protective of him to the point of killing their own father? <br />Now this is just a thought, but for me this point is screaming for diversity. Perhaps the brother is handicapped physically or mentally - he could be deaf, blind or mute, be a paraplegic? Maybe he's bipolar or has an anxiety disorder? Perhaps he has a spectrum disorder like Autism or Asperger's? Perhaps it's his sexuality? Is he gay, straight, bisexual, transgender, asexual even? Or it could simply come down to his father being jealous of his youth, which can also happen? <br />All I know is that I would WANT to know. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-50599034112160432202015-11-07T23:37:56.151-05:002015-11-07T23:37:56.151-05:00Good points. One thing in regard to season: with c...Good points. One thing in regard to season: with children, if it's during school, especially for 16 & 14 year olds, things WILL get more complicated than just the police. And if the children are severely hurt, no doubt they'll try to hide that at school. My suggestion is a teacher comes to help them. Maybe those miles away where uncle lives. I'm no cop, but thought they're trained to make sure firearms are locked away from children. I'd love to see how this story goes.<br />GaleAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-13069711123559406412015-11-07T15:29:34.716-05:002015-11-07T15:29:34.716-05:00Ah, I remember this from Evil Editor!
I second Ma...Ah, I remember this from Evil Editor!<br /><br />I second Maria D'Marco's idea of having the potential savior be the cop who is investigating the murder. It sets up a lot of conflict. Although I think it would be too much of a coincidence if he happened to work at the shelter too. It would be better if he were hunting them down over the course of the novel, always one step behind (maybe on purpose?). <br /><br />Other than that I agree with everything Ms Hardy and Ms D'Marco said. Good luck, author!<br />Matthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07681932402948885690noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-34612106127769313402015-11-07T12:35:53.925-05:002015-11-07T12:35:53.925-05:00Thanks, Janice, for this fun opportunity!
I had e...Thanks, Janice, for this fun opportunity!<br /><br />I had entered a comment, then spazzed out and deleted it. Will try again.<br /><br />My thoughts as I read:<br /><br />Why is the father an EX-cop? <br />Was it due to him being abusive with suspects? What does he do now for money? If he wasn't dishonorably discharged, was he wounded and lives on disability? The EX-cop part jumped out at me.<br /><br />My assumption is: older brother, stronger physically. But, is he? Perhaps he's the intellectual, sensitive one of the pair. Perhaps the sister, though younger, is actually stronger, more physical - an action person - and has assumed the role of 'protector' easily.<br /><br />Where is the mom? What is her story? Dead? Left the family? Is her status a deciding factor on the EX in ex-cop? How long has she been gone?<br /><br />The journey is the story, to me, so it can have a driving force with a vague goal, like the uncle. We don't know if he's the father's brother, but if he is, the kids might think (as kids do) that the brother might be just like dad--abusive. <br /><br />They need that vague goal, which the kids could hesitate pursuing in fear of uncle being like dad.<br /><br />Cops are a close-knit society. It would be odd if the kids didn't know any other cops personally -- unless the dad's career was very short. Maybe the other cop contacts in their life were bad and further cemented their view of running without police contact.<br /><br />This made me wonder about if there was a 'good' cop somewhere in the story. One that knew of the father's explosive issues, knew there were kids, knew the mom was gone, knew the story of EX. This could be a saviour character who becomes involved sideways. Perhaps he is part of the investigation into the father's death? <br /><br />At some point, someone has to wonder what happened to the kids -- are they kidnapped, dead, or on the street?<br /><br />The shelter scene could be a pivotal point. Perhaps this 'good' cop is a volunteer there? Perhaps he sees that the sister is probably under 16, but 'covers' for them? Perhaps they find out he's a cop and run--even though he's been nice? This could create some conflict and maybe set up a string of run-ins with the cop character.<br /><br />The sister must be suffering after killing her father. This could result in all kinds of obstacles for the pair. Has she been violent before? Has she seen someone killed/shot before? Does she go silent and deep? Does she become erratic? <br /><br />I also wondered in what season and where the story takes place. The season can add drama, time limits, and even relief (survive winter to see spring). The location makes a huge difference, obviously. <br /><br />The obvious goal would be safety/sanctuary, short-term or long-term. So, the journey -- and the lessons learned on that journey -- becomes the real story.<br /><br />If this is a contemporary story, it might be supportive to research the current homeless culture. There are networks, territorial boundaries, threats specific to that life, etc that would directly affect the teen characters. Young girls have special problems and threats to their safety, and unique solutions.<br /><br />Could be a strong story about societal issues, police issues, abuse issues, etc. Will it be YA?<br /><br />Thanks again, Janice, for this fun, thoughtful posting. Loved all your direction - wish the best to the author!Maria D'Marcohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07909374867721777133noreply@blogger.com