tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post8587892624539181903..comments2024-03-27T10:02:56.747-04:00Comments on Fiction University: Query Week: Step Two: Now, How Do I Make This Sound Better?Janice Hardyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356672149097741248noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-66180006503694588282009-08-20T17:36:25.899-04:002009-08-20T17:36:25.899-04:00Cool thanks. I'll keep on the lookout for that...Cool thanks. I'll keep on the lookout for that.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05799582651005924816noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-72959375604835413532009-08-20T09:01:17.068-04:002009-08-20T09:01:17.068-04:00Sure, ColinF. I can approach it like I do in my WO...Sure, ColinF. I can approach it like I do in my WOW class. The first assignment there is about ideas, and I usually just ask a lot of questions to start the writer thinking about what they have to help them develop the story. I was actually thinking about doing a workshop with that at some point, so this could be a good test to see if folks like it.Janice Hardyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02356672149097741248noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-47776618391464659332009-08-19T18:53:16.509-04:002009-08-19T18:53:16.509-04:00Janice, I wonder if I could submit something that ...Janice, I wonder if I could submit something that is at quite an early stage. It's the same story I used over at Juliette's workshop a few months back. I don't have a novel written, just a lot of ideas. The plot itself is mostly worked out... but I feel like doing little exercises like this help me, and mostly just gets me thinking about it and focusing on it. So is that acceptable if you have another query workshop or no?Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05799582651005924816noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-46794758882014064942009-08-19T08:12:44.267-04:002009-08-19T08:12:44.267-04:00Glad I could help. And thanks for submitting somet...Glad I could help. And thanks for submitting something for me to play with! I really expected more, but I did spring this on folks kinda fast. If everyone likes this, maybe we can do another later, and I can give everyone a heads up.Janice Hardyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02356672149097741248noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-65459276456033182122009-08-19T02:58:18.540-04:002009-08-19T02:58:18.540-04:00Go Marlana! *waves pompoms*
This is fun to watch....Go Marlana! *waves pompoms*<br /><br />This is fun to watch. Awesome advice, Janice.Michellehttp://yahighway.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-12748805627382553462009-08-18T20:02:03.172-04:002009-08-18T20:02:03.172-04:00Janice - you are FABULOUS! Wow - such great feedb...Janice - you are FABULOUS! Wow - such great feedback and guidance. I rushed to my computer and have spent the last few hours implementing your suggestions for part II. Sadly I'm VERY wordy but already I think it's taking form. So cool! Here it goes: <br /><br />Sam Davis knows all about loss – his father leaving when he was four-years old, his mother dying eleven years later. Even more problematic is that his mom was his best friend; slightly pathetic for a boy of fifteen years of age. When she dies he loses his already small desire to live up to her presumption that someday he would become something great. Although he has moments when he would like to kick the crap out of something, Sam was most comfortable curling up into his beige universe like a warm blanket and following the lead of others. That was until he was hanging out with his new roommates, Maddie and Z, and they find a strange map hidden in the lining of his mother’s old suitcase. The names in faded blue are unknown, but Sam realizes he has seen some of the strange markings before. They also appear on a tarnished frame that holds the sole photo he has of his father. Removing the picture for the first time, Sam sees Davis, WV written in his mother’s familiar script. <br /><br />Sam sheds the comfort of being a disciple, his desire to learn more about his missing father outweighing the niche he was accustomed to. He decides to sneak away from the foster home to the neighboring town of Davis hoping to find out what relation the small town has to his parents. Sam is thrilled when Maddie and Z offer to go with him, their earlier promise to watch out for one another holding steadfast. Once in Davis, they find the Vortex and are suddenly hurtled into the convulsing world of Caylestis – the world that had appeared on the map. But they learn the land is dying, the suns barely able to shine through the thick clouds that have brewed since an evil man named Deimos captured Faras, a flying horse and the soul of this enchanted place. Sam is shocked to find that not only does he bear a striking resemblance to the Emporer, but that his true destiny is to save this fading world - but can he survive Deimos’ wrath?Marlana Antifithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04618800081521893095noreply@blogger.com