tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post7452788368563897951..comments2024-03-27T10:02:56.747-04:00Comments on Fiction University: You're So Emotional: Describing a Character's Emotions in a First Person Point of ViewJanice Hardyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356672149097741248noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-58304611440560298552019-06-23T16:40:53.621-04:002019-06-23T16:40:53.621-04:00Thank you, Janice. That's what I was hoping t...Thank you, Janice. That's what I was hoping to hear. Davehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02063337064422578885noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-26490345655544494852019-06-23T08:42:13.401-04:002019-06-23T08:42:13.401-04:00I get anger from that. And growing frustration and...I get anger from that. And growing frustration and annoyance as well. It builds from mild to very anger and on the edge of (or passed) losing control. Janice Hardyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02356672149097741248noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-49790144862338366272019-06-19T20:41:35.065-04:002019-06-19T20:41:35.065-04:00Here's a clip from my historical novel "B...Here's a clip from my historical novel "Bloody Mountain." I hope it shows the emotion of anger. <br /><br />What say you?<br /><br />Hill Beachey went to Tom Farrell’s room and pounded on the door. “Tom,” Beachey said, “we got the extradition order! It’s time to take these murderers back to Lewiston for trial. I have to arrange passage for them and me, but you have to leave now. Take the next fast ship north to Portland and get on home. We’ll need the town to be ready when I get there. Take the Shasta Queen. She’s firing up her boilers right now. Talk to Acting Governor Daniels, and Sheriff Fisk. Go up to Lapwai and talk to Major Truax as well. We’ll need some armed troops to keep the folks from lynching these murderers. He’ll know what to do. Get all the help you can.”<br />“Sure thing, Hill,” Farrell said. “I know exactly what you mean.” <br />“Maggie will never forgive me if this ends in another lynching.”<br />“You can count on me,” Tom Farrell concluded.<br />The two men shook hands. Farrell went on down to the wharf to purchase passage north. Beachey turned on his heels and strode south on DuPont Street. He walked past the DuPont House and the Lick House where the murderers were caught and on through China Town, taking in all the smells and sounds of the strange enclave of industrious immigrants scurrying about their business. He turned left on Commercial Street, stopping at the US Mint. <br />“Mister Cheesman, please,” he said to the man behind the caged window.<br />“Your business, sir?”<br />“The Magruder Gold.”<br />“We have no such deposit, sir.” The clerk sniffed.<br />“Don’t give me that, goddamn it,” Beachey said, his exhausted face reddening. “You know perfectly well Captain Lees has put a hold on the Magruder gold that he seized from those murderers. It’s been in the newspapers several times since I’ve been here. Just get me Cheesman.”<br />“I beg your pardon, sir. You must understand my position. Please make yourself comfortable, and I’ll get Mister Cheesman.”<br />Cheesman finally appeared, but not before Beachey felt his temper rising. He thought about Stanford, whether he should appeal to the governor once more for assistance. <br />“Mister Beachey, what can I do for you?” Cheesman asked.<br />“I want to transfer Lloyd Magruder’s gold into a position for benefit of Missus Magruder. With Lloyd gone, she has no means of support,” Beachey said.<br />“I understand your concern, but you must realize that gold deposit hasn’t been conclusively attributed to Magruder. I can’t release it to you now.”<br />“Well, goddamnit, when will you be able to release it?”<br />“Perhaps after you have brought them to trial, assuming they are convicted.”<br />“Oh, they’ll be convicted,” Beachey declared. “You can count on it.” He would die to make that happen.<br />“We shall see.”<br />“Now please give me a statement of this account.”<br />“I can’t do that either,” Cheesman said.<br />“Goddamnit! Goddamnit! I’ll go back up and to Sacramento see the goddamned governor if I have to, but I’m going to get an accounting of Lloyd’s goddamn gold. Before I leave this goddamn lascivious sidehill masquerading as a goddamned city! Before! You got that? Now give me the goddamn statement of account, unless you want Leland down your goddamn collar.”<br />“Leland?”<br />“Yes, goddamnit! Leland Stanford! The goddamn governor!” Beachey stopped short, ashamed of his temper and his language.Davehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02063337064422578885noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-36774950975836136952013-11-11T10:40:36.549-05:002013-11-11T10:40:36.549-05:00Thanks so much! I do try. Glad it's working.Thanks so much! I do try. Glad it's working. Janice Hardyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02356672149097741248noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-35441315319874808602013-11-11T10:40:16.915-05:002013-11-11T10:40:16.915-05:00My pleasure! My pleasure! Janice Hardyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02356672149097741248noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-85650314488615766782013-11-08T15:54:14.439-05:002013-11-08T15:54:14.439-05:00Your advice is always the best, most helpful, and ...Your advice is always the best, most helpful, and clearest explained of any blog on the net. Love it!lesliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01867886481362543250noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-32250864670381259472013-11-08T15:42:56.652-05:002013-11-08T15:42:56.652-05:00Thanks for the great tips.Thanks for the great tips.H. R. Sinclairhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06715450637785127208noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-24108325862251013682013-02-16T07:33:37.975-05:002013-02-16T07:33:37.975-05:00Dirtywhitecandy, thanks! I have a few voracious re...Dirtywhitecandy, thanks! I have a few voracious reader friends who aren't writers. No nothing of craft. I LOVE listening to the talk about the books they like, because they talk about the emotions and the characters. They don't care about the things writers care about. But they see the effects! <br /><br />Sue, thanks! I read that somewhere years and years ago. Wish I remember who said it :)<br /><br />Macswriter, glad I could help. The same technique works for description, too. Janice Hardyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02356672149097741248noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-61970510055479996652013-02-14T01:59:33.479-05:002013-02-14T01:59:33.479-05:00I found your advice to spread out the reaction, an...I found your advice to spread out the reaction, and hold a bit back to stretch it out, very helpful. I first struggled to remember to put it in, then I found I was overdoing it. This is just what I needed. Thank you!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-72923615572554119262010-06-17T17:12:00.658-04:002010-06-17T17:12:00.658-04:00I love your definition of word package. I usually ...I love your definition of word package. I usually refer to those as cliche'-ish. ;-)Sue Fordhttp://www.susanuhlig.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-7352887490090471482010-06-16T15:34:25.121-04:002010-06-16T15:34:25.121-04:00Great post. These are some of the scenes I enjoy b...Great post. These are some of the scenes I enjoy best - where I can really get to grips with recreating the experience for the reader. The key, as you say, is living in the scene vividly. I'm tweeting this.Roz Morris aka @Roz_Morris . Blog: Nail Your Novelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10088813423467048081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-66832851946358808912010-06-16T07:38:15.343-04:002010-06-16T07:38:15.343-04:00Most welcome!Most welcome!Janice Hardyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02356672149097741248noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-43603905841939316542010-06-11T21:57:10.474-04:002010-06-11T21:57:10.474-04:00Great post. Thanks so much for this information!
...Great post. Thanks so much for this information!<br /><br />MartinaMartina Boonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03358736828122139189noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-66700442139804302942010-06-10T19:58:00.294-04:002010-06-10T19:58:00.294-04:00I like your "placeholder" words. I hadn&...I like your "placeholder" words. I hadn't thought of it quite like that before.Ronda Laveenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03902846545309643023noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-71114006217706439722010-06-10T16:20:37.139-04:002010-06-10T16:20:37.139-04:00Despite her many other glaring inadequacies, Charl...Despite her many other glaring inadequacies, Charlaine Harris isn't too bad at doing POV. Sometimes she gets really bone-headed about it, but most of the time it's pretty well done. I recommend her Sookie Stackhouse series for good examples of how to do POV well (and examples of how to do it poorly). Her 1st 3 books are pretty shoddily written, but the rest are decent (book 10 seems to regress a bit in her skill level).Alex Colenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-59279976919856967832010-06-10T13:09:28.715-04:002010-06-10T13:09:28.715-04:00Thanks for the great tips. It is so hard not to so...Thanks for the great tips. It is so hard not to sound cliche or overuse phrases when describing feelings, like fear. Spacing them out like you suggested to not overuse them is a great idea.Natalie Aguirrehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03756087804171246660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-13847100574738679862010-06-10T09:38:10.773-04:002010-06-10T09:38:10.773-04:00I'll admit, I have a tendency to do this (and ...I'll admit, I have a tendency to do this (and I don't mean the great examples you've given to do it RIGHT). Thanks for giving me a different way to look at it and fix the problem.Melissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12096764010151024050noreply@blogger.com