tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post5729313645972953003..comments2024-03-27T10:02:56.747-04:00Comments on Fiction University: Real Life Diagnostics: Can You Visualize the Setting? Janice Hardyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356672149097741248noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-46034706592690077242017-12-04T10:54:31.938-05:002017-12-04T10:54:31.938-05:00Hi Linda, would love more of your insight. Could y...Hi Linda, would love more of your insight. Could you provide a simple example of the right rank and how they might talk? Thanks. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13697575510603659651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-10115189280467881282017-12-04T10:53:17.496-05:002017-12-04T10:53:17.496-05:00Hi Silva, yep it does need a little polish. I just...Hi Silva, yep it does need a little polish. I just did NaNoWriMo last month so it was just a ton of writing. Thanks.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13697575510603659651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-82463488484450977422017-12-04T10:51:25.784-05:002017-12-04T10:51:25.784-05:00Hi Elizabeth, and thanks. I’ll simplify the names....Hi Elizabeth, and thanks. I’ll simplify the names. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13697575510603659651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-18858641486289557462017-12-03T17:14:36.433-05:002017-12-03T17:14:36.433-05:00I liked the scene and would keep reading, it needs...I liked the scene and would keep reading, it needs some polishing tho. Great work too Maria!Silva Filhonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-16171529602313720392017-12-03T07:08:04.034-05:002017-12-03T07:08:04.034-05:00Not enough setting for science fiction, and it'...Not enough setting for science fiction, and it's missing the character's opinion about it. If he's in the military, he's going to be complaining through the description about the rain. I didn't really get the "feels right" that these are a pair of military officers (I'm former military). I had to read it a couple of time, and it still feels wrong. You got the rank right, sort of, and yet it doesn't feel like two officers talking. Linda Maye Adamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07203020058437093901noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-18426050241923273302017-12-03T03:26:57.872-05:002017-12-03T03:26:57.872-05:00I totally agree with Leila - found myself scrabbli...I totally agree with Leila - found myself scrabbling to keep up with the names. Also I felt the changes to the weather (storm fading etc) too fast for what appeared to be just a few minutes. Thanks for sharing. Seems interesting. I got a Casablanca vibe 😊 Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11737889720275599055noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-56047165092898867662017-12-02T11:10:06.214-05:002017-12-02T11:10:06.214-05:00I really enjoyed this and would definitely keep re...I really enjoyed this and would definitely keep reading. Only critique would be maybe to pare down how many different ways the two characters are referred to until the reader is more comfortable and able to understand the references. But since this isn't the opening scene, the reader might already have a better grasp on the variety of names, professions, ranks, etc. Thanks for sharing!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17785095222444112114noreply@blogger.com