tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post503084622155177016..comments2024-03-27T10:02:56.747-04:00Comments on Fiction University: Real Life Diagnostics: Avoiding Infodumps While Maintaining a Child's Voice Janice Hardyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356672149097741248noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-57214294356339404622013-01-20T18:35:59.633-05:002013-01-20T18:35:59.633-05:00The storyline of Dwyth planning to go to his birth...The storyline of Dwyth planning to go to his birthplace and what will happen there is interesting. I find it difficult to read the 8 sentences of section 2. They don't flow smoothly. Janice's advice is good. You can leave some of the description of Metrod City to when he arrives there. So maybe you can take 2 sentences out of section 2 and move them to when he is in front of the City or while he is already walking to the city. Janice gives you so many good comments, so just follow them and make it better. But all in all, from what you gave us about the storyline, I find it exciting to read. Best wishes with the novel.G.M.https://www.blogger.com/profile/02652216131823877445noreply@blogger.com