tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post3562114585258196779..comments2024-03-27T10:02:56.747-04:00Comments on Fiction University: Alternative Ways to Describe Character Reactions Janice Hardyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356672149097741248noreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-23402642233979692602023-11-12T01:49:56.501-05:002023-11-12T01:49:56.501-05:00thank you so much. this is such a big helpthank you so much. this is such a big helpAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-35069773886890861282019-01-20T05:10:44.456-05:002019-01-20T05:10:44.456-05:00Your advice on this is fantastic! Here's mine ...Your advice on this is fantastic! Here's mine for the fun :)<br /><br />They bumped. She apologized. He flirted. She blushed. He stared. She avoided. He stalked.Nicole Pyleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06920135146911951755noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-89819346258154324072019-01-19T13:32:35.285-05:002019-01-19T13:32:35.285-05:00Thanks for the great post.
Here's my mini:
I ...Thanks for the great post.<br />Here's my mini:<br /><br />I delivered. Someone groaned. Eyes rolled. Crowd ruthless. Joke butchered. Hopes dashed. I bolted. <br /><br />Arvillahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02250416648406153276noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-55540153656424978092013-02-11T06:42:41.114-05:002013-02-11T06:42:41.114-05:00Another great post Janice! Love this contest. Belo...Another great post Janice! Love this contest. Below is my submission. <br /><br />He lied.<br />She knew.<br />He recanted.<br />She listened.<br />He cried.<br />She watched.<br />He apologized.<br />She left.marti parhamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16619874032864736750noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-61890761146985232082013-02-10T22:50:12.986-05:002013-02-10T22:50:12.986-05:00This comment has been removed by the author.CourtneyChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09378719093957870376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-3160840233320009562013-02-09T22:37:40.988-05:002013-02-09T22:37:40.988-05:00She cried. Blood Pouring.
He laughed.
“Why Jacob?...She cried. Blood Pouring.<br />He laughed. <br />“Why Jacob?” She asked.<br />“Everyone dies.” <br />Looking back. She’d known.<br />“I forgive…” she bagan. <br />“No Mom.” He said. “I’m sorry.”<br />He grunted. Falling down.<br />She’d known. Yet failed. <br />Locked up. Needed help. She failed.<br />SAhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15311186482350857911noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-66631256034168183712013-02-09T14:18:10.349-05:002013-02-09T14:18:10.349-05:00I run into this problem all the time. I like your ...I run into this problem all the time. I like your idea of place holders, so I can get the story out.<br /><br />I use the Synonym Finder - way better than the average thesaurus and the Emotional Thesaurus. Love that Emotional Thesaurus.<br /><br />Dad shook. "Not her."<br />Tears flooded. Mom convulsed. "Our baby." <br />Cold fingers. Closed eyes. <br />Shared sobs.<br /><br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03683787289610071946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-27820390034612754752013-02-09T14:06:22.485-05:002013-02-09T14:06:22.485-05:00I searched, I found, I read,
she inspired, I ponde...I searched, I found, I read,<br />she inspired, I pondered, I gave, I hoped, she chose...<br />This is such a fun idea, not to mention a great place to learn.<br />Thank you. BSBRhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02520510454417941553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-84940764943836742522013-02-09T12:53:49.977-05:002013-02-09T12:53:49.977-05:00That detail that different people react to things ...That detail that different people react to things differently can't be overstated. My brother wears his emotions on his sleeves. I…don't. I get called "reserved", just due to how I keep my reactions controlled and mild. (My parents mock me that my eyes lighting up and me saying "Ooo!" mean I'm very, very excited about a present.)<br /><br />Different people react differently to the selfsame emotion—and folks can have the selfsame reaction to <em>different</em> emotions, which can be fodder for character misunderstandings.<br /><br />As for my mini story, hmm…<br /><br />She grinned. He scowled. She pointed. He zipped. She smirked. He sighed.Carradeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05431561739001270522noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-13867642586412838382013-02-09T05:45:28.153-05:002013-02-09T05:45:28.153-05:00Great post, very useful. Here's my story.
She...Great post, very useful. Here's my story.<br /><br />She murmured. He listened. She sighed. He gasped. She died. He wept.Livasahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15376155672272373743noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-19447379828792019812013-02-09T00:01:22.550-05:002013-02-09T00:01:22.550-05:00Hi Janice,
Thank you for giving me permission to u...Hi Janice,<br />Thank you for giving me permission to use "place holder" words. I love that expression. Now I won't scowl at my writing anymore.<br />I'm up for the challenge.<br />He scowled. I pouted.<br />He shouted. I balled.<br />He smirked. I stomped.<br />He chuckled. I giggled.<br />He puckered. We smooched.<br /><br /><br />Tracy Campbellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11829493307148654507noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-29258559585111058852013-02-08T20:33:10.052-05:002013-02-08T20:33:10.052-05:00As always your spot on suggestions helped improve ...As always your spot on suggestions helped improve my manuscript. Each gem highlights another weakness and makes it strong. Here is a little story about a six year old's bad moment:<br /><br />I lied, Mom glared, I hid, Mom discovered, I cried, Mom lectured, I apologized, Mom smiled. Greg Pattridgehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05761872776035591138noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-25823428886357894492013-02-08T18:38:20.835-05:002013-02-08T18:38:20.835-05:00Thanks for another great post.
Here's mine:
...Thanks for another great post.<br /><br />Here's mine:<br /><br />She shivered. He smirked. She glared. He laughed. She turned. He advanced. She stopped. He pleaded. She refused. He cajoled. She sighed. She smiled.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-1250391928554750372013-02-08T17:01:43.496-05:002013-02-08T17:01:43.496-05:00Your posts are always really helpful. Thanks for p...Your posts are always really helpful. Thanks for posting. :D<br /><br />Here is my attempt:<br /><br /><br />He smiled. She blushed. He talked. She listened. He asked. She told. Good Friends. Not enough. She fell. He didn't. Broken Heart. Moving on. Lost chances. Bitter regrets. Lost friendship. Nothing left.<br /><br />barmybexhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17675796776481696322noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-57262794582242497112013-02-08T16:41:20.752-05:002013-02-08T16:41:20.752-05:00My characters are either smiley, nodding bobblehea...My characters are either smiley, nodding bobbleheads or shifty-eyed devils during my first draft. This post is an excellent reminder not to fuss over certain favorites during the drafting process!<br /><br />Here's my little story.<br /><br />She primped. I ogled. She blushed. I tittered. She snorted. I gasped.CherylAnne Hamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02324135447961686703noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-82806048680613838262013-02-08T16:11:12.870-05:002013-02-08T16:11:12.870-05:00Janice, what a fun invitation. What a great way to...Janice, what a fun invitation. What a great way to get me to leave a comment :)<br /><br />Here's my attempt:<br /><br /><br />Fists clenches. Belly burns. Eyes widen.<br /><br />No, no.<br /><br />Can’t be.<br /><br />Go away.<br /><br />Head hurts. Thoughts flying. Helter-skelter.<br /><br />“Stay back.” Rubs temple. Rubs gooseflesh. Rubs, rubs. “Respect me.”<br />Elaine Stockhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16349776598113016833noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-75403113221681570252013-02-08T16:00:08.469-05:002013-02-08T16:00:08.469-05:00Hey Janice
Thanks for the post, really useful stuf...Hey Janice<br />Thanks for the post, really useful stuff.<br />I hadn't come across the idea of placeholder words before, but it's a fantastic concept. I don't mind reaching for the thesaurus, but it can take me out of the flow, so this should help.<br />Point 2 is also a great help for editing. I'm still learning effective ways to edit and this seems like a good one.<br />Thanks again<br />Mike <br />p.s.<br />Sorry to be annoying, but where's number 3?!:)<br />p.p.s.<br />He ran, he stumbled, he gasped. She laughed, she turned. He fell. He sobbed. She rejoiced.Michael Cairnshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05180863661655365561noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-40911935184260474332013-02-08T15:48:05.478-05:002013-02-08T15:48:05.478-05:00I have to shake my head recognizing so many of the...I have to shake my head recognizing so many of these things in my work, especially the first draft.<br /><br />Let me see if I can figure something out.<br /><br />They bumped. He flinched. She jumped. He smiled. She blushed. She leaned. He held. They sighed.Angela Brownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03324366495151363782noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-66648759119362217392013-02-08T15:41:00.846-05:002013-02-08T15:41:00.846-05:00This is such a good lesson! Thanks!
I retired. ...This is such a good lesson! Thanks! <br /><br /><br />I retired. I relaxed. I golfed. I tinkered. I missed. I struggled. I worked. She left.Mariehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02039248207984082277noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-23212434798283150172013-02-08T11:32:08.337-05:002013-02-08T11:32:08.337-05:00Great post. Something I definitely need to examine...Great post. Something I definitely need to examine in my 2nd draft, I definitely used place-holders in the 1st draft.<br /><br />My story:<br /><br />He laughed. She blushed. He smiled. She sighed. He leaned. She tensed. He hesitated. They kissed.Haleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15166585282012706388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-43856960433426324542013-02-08T11:20:25.890-05:002013-02-08T11:20:25.890-05:00This comment has been removed by the author.Haleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15166585282012706388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-25081731152413683422013-02-08T10:41:41.795-05:002013-02-08T10:41:41.795-05:00Lovely post, Janice! And I'll add that this is...Lovely post, Janice! And I'll add that this is timely. The agents and editors at the SCBWI-NY conference last weekend pointed out that they are tired of seeing hearts, stomachs, guts, etc. jerking, beating, clenching or whatever else. They urge us to find more original ways to reference even visceral reactions!Martina Boonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03358736828122139189noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-51133665219383799762013-02-08T09:42:36.082-05:002013-02-08T09:42:36.082-05:00This comment has been removed by the author.Livasahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15376155672272373743noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-68278640064992456922013-02-08T08:38:42.126-05:002013-02-08T08:38:42.126-05:00This is an excellent list and I definitely agree w...This is an excellent list and I definitely agree with the use of placeholder words. I'm currently revising some of my earlier chapters and mixing things up a bit.<br /><br />Here's my story. Something I saw on the subway this evening:<br /><br />She texted. He watched. She texted. He waited. She noticed. They smiled.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com