tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post1816439237008131682..comments2024-03-27T10:02:56.747-04:00Comments on Fiction University: The Overwritten Novel: How to Identify & Fix Purple Prose in Your NovelJanice Hardyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356672149097741248noreply@blogger.comBlogger31125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-88843680885759682042020-09-15T03:50:39.764-04:002020-09-15T03:50:39.764-04:00No problem - I find it's always easier to proo...No problem - I find it's always easier to proofread other people's work than my own!Sasha Andersonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-88045433859913960312020-09-14T12:47:38.973-04:002020-09-14T12:47:38.973-04:00I would indeed. Thanks for letting me know. Shames...I would indeed. Thanks for letting me know. Shames me that this went through two rounds of updates and I still missed them. I am a terrible proofreader. Janice Hardyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02356672149097741248noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-80511418706161475892020-09-13T06:59:03.421-04:002020-09-13T06:59:03.421-04:00This was very helpful, thanks!
Just spotted a few...This was very helpful, thanks!<br /><br />Just spotted a few typos (and hoping you'd rather have them pointed out than not!):<br />- "heard it to" should be "too";<br />- "pages of pages" should be "and";<br />- "it's skull" (x3), "it's imagery", "it's weepy red eyes" should all be "its";<br />- "shinning" should be "shining";<br />- "the focus in on" (x2) should be "is on";<br />- "one positive aspects" should be "aspect".Sasha Andersonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-30245346428523076452019-07-22T08:19:07.677-04:002019-07-22T08:19:07.677-04:00Most welcome. I think this was pretty much every w...Most welcome. I think this was pretty much every writer as a teen (grin). I know I did it, too. I shudder to remember some of my early short stories. Janice Hardyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02356672149097741248noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-62699002895520789582019-07-22T08:17:45.765-04:002019-07-22T08:17:45.765-04:00Exactly. Most readers are pretty sharp and see mor...Exactly. Most readers are pretty sharp and see more into our stories than we do sometimes. <br /><br />Too sparse is a whole other problem. Hmmm...I wonder if I've ever written about that? I'll have to check. Thanks for the idea!Janice Hardyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02356672149097741248noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-12188092306120438682019-07-21T22:00:35.924-04:002019-07-21T22:00:35.924-04:00This was me as a teenage writer, and my creative w...This was me as a teenage writer, and my creative writing teacher, the late Roger Woddis, pointed out my purple prose. I can still err after a few decades, so many thanks for this entertaining but invaluable post.Roland Clarkehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03302133565980901397noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-41300799487782197412019-07-21T17:24:21.639-04:002019-07-21T17:24:21.639-04:00Sorry couldn't have clicked the right buttons ...Sorry couldn't have clicked the right buttons for my name to come up. In case it hasn't worked this time - Lindsey Russell (lindelldayrussell)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05595647256954321107noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-8774176705239862572019-07-21T16:47:41.876-04:002019-07-21T16:47:41.876-04:00We should not treat our readers as idiots who cann...We should not treat our readers as idiots who cannot fill in the gaps if enough information is provided. But too sparse can be equally annoying, especially if it comes over as abrupt. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05595647256954321107noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-27817671373261006772019-07-12T07:54:28.134-04:002019-07-12T07:54:28.134-04:00Aw, thanks so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it. T...Aw, thanks so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it. This is exactly why I pulled out the old posts and update them. Janice Hardyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02356672149097741248noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-2894880815693409972019-07-12T07:53:30.754-04:002019-07-12T07:53:30.754-04:00If it suits your process, feel free to do it. Anyt...If it suits your process, feel free to do it. Anything goes when drafting :)Janice Hardyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02356672149097741248noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-40450951280078101472019-07-12T07:47:27.734-04:002019-07-12T07:47:27.734-04:00Janice - Once again you've pulled back curtain...Janice - Once again you've pulled back curtain on the magic of good writing and shown how it's done. You have the teaching gift! I've enjoyed all of the reader comments as well - especially good. You've hit a nerve. ;)MELODY HIGHMANnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-41769872366800816702019-07-12T07:33:36.526-04:002019-07-12T07:33:36.526-04:00Interesting details. Could be critical - depending...Interesting details. Could be critical - depending on the storyline.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03713455651313340897noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-53981711040972240552019-07-12T07:31:19.344-04:002019-07-12T07:31:19.344-04:00Nice!Nice!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03713455651313340897noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-76405466123197349782019-07-12T07:21:07.073-04:002019-07-12T07:21:07.073-04:00Well said! Helpful article...but I was having thes...Well said! Helpful article...but I was having these same thoughts. Thank you!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03713455651313340897noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-6330290653851219102019-07-11T09:33:38.023-04:002019-07-11T09:33:38.023-04:00I've been doing purple proses. In my 2nd draft...I've been doing purple proses. In my 2nd draft I do this, mostly because the 1st draft is so sparse despite the character and setting sketches I do beforehand. In my 3rd draft I'll cut some of it out. Maybeing my 4th daft I'll be cutting more out.G. J. Jollyhttps://ascriptedmaze.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-26497386000461817732019-07-11T08:40:12.901-04:002019-07-11T08:40:12.901-04:00Thanks! That's a great example of the differen...Thanks! That's a great example of the difference. The more we draw attention to the writing, the less readers notice the story. Good writing only LOOKS effortless :) Janice Hardyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02356672149097741248noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-2856334726737686032019-07-10T22:42:14.391-04:002019-07-10T22:42:14.391-04:00This was a GREAT post. This is the biggest problem...This was a GREAT post. This is the biggest problem I find with the hundreds of free ebooks I receive. The best way I can think of to differentiate between overwritten prose and voice is that flowery prose always draws the reader out of the story. Well-written voice which uses description or metaphor emerses the reader deeper into the narrative. Great writing is invisible. It calls attention to the story not the text. And yes, I suffer from bouts of purple prose like the rest of us. Thanks for the laugh-out-loud example of flowery writing!Joanne Robertshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11019039952521739669noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-85303468549262185442019-07-10T22:33:26.087-04:002019-07-10T22:33:26.087-04:00oddly, I really appreciated your comment!oddly, I really appreciated your comment!Joanne Robertshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11019039952521739669noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-86932566812519167122010-10-01T10:05:59.885-04:002010-10-01T10:05:59.885-04:00Kris, I talk some about your question in Friday...Kris, I talk some about your question in Friday's post, but I'll answer some here as well. <br /><br />If emotional impact can be gained by drawing out a scene, of course draw it out. But only if you also add the emotional aspect to it. Without internalization from Bob to know what he's going through, the scene is just a drawn out scene. Some of the emotional impact will be apparent since the reader got that far in the story, but the emotion is what gives the scene punch. Readers won't care all that much about the fancy imagery without Bob's turmoil. They want to know how he feels, what he's going through, how hard this is for him. <br /><br />You can go too far on the emotional side as well, so you want to be careful not to overdo it (that path leads to melodrama), but a good balance between the action, description, and emotion makes for a great scene.Janice Hardyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02356672149097741248noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-45454704948063649292010-09-30T08:46:29.019-04:002010-09-30T08:46:29.019-04:00Very true, Melanie. It's all about moderation....Very true, Melanie. It's all about moderation.<br /><br />I got a wonderful submission for Real Life Diagnostics yesterday, and it'll make a perfect example for many of the things folks have brought up. That'll post on Friday.<br /><br />Good discussion going on. Writing is so subjective it's important to hear lots of opinions and thoughts on any tough topic.Janice Hardyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02356672149097741248noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-88554264932402958262010-09-29T12:45:46.396-04:002010-09-29T12:45:46.396-04:00I think the point, unless I'm wrong that as wi...I think the point, unless I'm wrong that as with all aspects of life, Everything in moderation. I totally get what Kris is saying and it's an excellent point and example. And I do love some of that, BUT too much of it can become extremely annoying to me as a reader and would turn me off or cause me to skip which I have done in books before. Not sure if Purple prose and being overly detailed can sometimes be linked into the same category, but if so, I have definitely had some experiences where I pulled out of the story to focus on minute and insignificant details that tried so hard to paint a picture in my mind that it actually became a strange Picasso type feel to me that I could sorta see, but not quite (if that makes sense). I don't think there's anything wrong with Purple/flowery prose, but if I had to read an entire book written in the style of the examples Janice gave, I'd shut the book and move on to another. Perhaps some people like that stuff, but I'm more about the overall story which I think be delivered equally as well in fewer words and details. JMOMelaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03696084321447737813noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-27148364933150468552010-09-28T22:54:23.577-04:002010-09-28T22:54:23.577-04:00It seems there is a fine line between building ten...It seems there is a fine line between building tension and flowery prose. You touched on using drawn out action in a climax. Let's say the zombie is (was?) Bob's wife. Drawing out the action shows his hesitation in perma-killing her. In fact, I could see the scene being lengthened. Is flowery prose accepted in that scene? Is there a greater tolerance for it? Maybe the smooth gun against his calloused hand echoes an earlier scene where his wife's hand was smooth in his calloused hand. Maybe the cobalt-gray steel matches her eyes. Or is that overwriting?Kris Dalpiazhttp://www.krisdalpiaz.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-48386888481732181512010-09-28T20:49:06.571-04:002010-09-28T20:49:06.571-04:00My writing improves every time I read your posts. ...My writing improves every time I read your posts. For example, I cut eleven words out of the original of the preceding sentence. :)Vonnahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17228707287799345805noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-26937648780451544812010-09-28T15:42:59.625-04:002010-09-28T15:42:59.625-04:00Thank you, yes, I see your point exactly and agree...Thank you, yes, I see your point exactly and agree. I guess that's the paragraph you left out.Anne Gallagherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05816355522284492131noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901370917824739259.post-7659766735912165772010-09-28T13:20:29.625-04:002010-09-28T13:20:29.625-04:00LOL Eric. I actually wrote it first with bullets, ...LOL Eric. I actually wrote it first with bullets, then said "Wait, shotguns don't fire bullets" and changed it. Should have looked it up, but it was 8am. <br /><br />As for voice and style vs purple...<br /><br />You can have a flowery voice and not go overboard, and you certainly wouldn't want to edit out all the description. A book written as Piedmont Writer described would be just as bad as the examples I gave. <br /><br />Perhaps I should have had a "good" paragraph in there to show as an example and not just one line. I'm a sparse writer, but my whole story isn't short, uninteresting sentences. I use imagery same as everyone else. If I were writing a full "regular" paragraph, I also would have used other things besides description. <br /><br />It's a very fine line. I exaggerated this on purpose to make a point, but what one person considers purple another may find stylish. Much of it is indeed personal taste, which is what makes it so tough. The general style now is more sparse and not as flowery as it was twenty years ago. And that's not as flowery as it was twenty years before that. Trends change. <br /><br />It's also a matter of density. Some of these lines on their own might be fine and fit well with the story and voice of the author, and wouldn't be considered overdone. But using a lot of them in one novel might be too much. <br /><br />Bottom line, there is no defined amount of what's "good" vs what's "bad." Like so much of writing, individual preferences will determine that. But if you're getting comments from your critique groups that use these terms, these examples are possible reasons why. It's up to the writer to determine how much (if any) they want to edit. But it IS possible to be descriptive and use a lot of imagery and NOT be purple, flowery, or overwritten.Janice Hardyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02356672149097741248noreply@blogger.com