Real Life Diagnostics: Making a Connection

Real Life Diagnostics is a recurring column that studies a snippet of a work in progress for specific issues. Readers are encouraged to send in work with questions, and I diagnose them on the blog. It’s part critique, part example, designed to help the submitter as well as anyone else having a similar problem.

If you're interested in submitting to Real Life Diagnostics, check out the page for guidelines.

This week’s questions:
Does this opening work?
Does the tension of the situation come across?
Do you feel a connection to the MC--enough to root for her?

On to the diagnosis…

Wait for it, Wait for it—Never mind: Building up and not Following Through

By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

Good stories have a lot of balance to them. The right combination of information and action, narrative and dialog, description and internalization. When that balance is out of whack, readers notice.

One thing that can tip the scales is a disproportionate focus spent on an event vs its importance.

Let’s say Bob and the gals are running from zombies, trapped inside an abandoned car manufacturing plant in Detroit. For ten pages, Bob is obsessing over what’s going to happen when they reach the other side of the assembly line and go through the exterior doors. Sally disagrees with going there, Jane wants to go somewhere else but Bob insists it’s the only option. Despite the dangers, it’s a lot worse to not go through the assembly line doors. They finally get there and…

All By Myself: Why Protagonists Need Friends

By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

It can be lonely being a protagonist. You go about your day with all kinds of terrible things happening to you, and there's not always someone to talk to about it. But protags need friends and confidants. And not just because it's lonely.

It's difficult to write a character who has no one to talk to.

Solitary protag stories are hard to write. The protag is in their head all the time, internalizing, talking to themselves. Some of this is great (you really get to know a protag that way), but too much and your reader can wind up telling your protag to zip it and get on with things.

Shooting Over to Shooting Stars

I'm over at Shooting Stars Mag today, with a really fun guest post. I got to do a play list for my protag, Nya. Since she lives in a fantasy world it was a blast to think about what songs she'd like and why if she suddenly found herself in our world.

I discovered Nya has both good and eclectic taste in music.

Come on over and say hello!

(and if you know Nya, what let us know what songs you'd pick for her)

Game On: Staying Organized During Revisions

By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

Revisions can be daunting, even if you enjoy doing them. So many moving parts, things to remember, plots to double check, and you’re never sure if you got everything you wanted to do or not. If this is a final revision before submitting, those doubts can really nag at you.

What you need is a plan.

Just like the writing process, the revision process can take many forms. We all know how frustrating it is to feel you have to do something a certain way when that way isn’t for you, so take what works for you and don’t fret over anything that makes you think “ew.” Embrace the spirit of the plan, if not the details. (and I hope my awesome readers will chime in with their own tips) I’ll break this down into revising from feedback, and revision on your own, with tips that work for either.

This is Not Real. But it’s True. Logic, Emotional Truth and Inspiration in Stories

By Roz Morris

JH: Today we have a little truth in our fiction, with author Roz Morris, chatting about why good fiction works with both the head and the heart. I first "met" Roz years ago on Absolute Write, and she's always there with helpful advice for her fellow writers.

Roz Morris is a bestselling ghostwriter, editor and the author of Nail Your Novel - Why Writers Abandon Books and How You Can Draft, Fix and Finish With Confidence, available from Amazon. Check out her website or her wonderful blog for more writing tips. You can also follow her on Twitter at www.twitter.com/dirtywhitecandy and if you’d like to know more about her fiction, at www.twitter.com/byrozmorris. My Memories of a Future Life will be available from August 30.

Take it away Roz...

Where Do You Want Me? Choosing Narrative Distance in Multiple Third Person

By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

A reader asked…

If you are writing in third person with multiply points of view, should you use a deep point of view or a more distant one? And how could you make all the voices sound different?

I recently did a post on making your voices sound different, so today I’ll focus on the POV question. For voices, try this post on developing voice for POV characters, and this post on developing voice for non-POV characters.
Now, as to the first question…

It’s totally up to you.

How deep or distant you go (narrative distance) depends on your personal taste and what you’re trying to accomplish with the story.

My own rule of thumb: The more personal the problem, the deeper you go, because personal problems seem to connect better when the reader gets inside the POV’s head and really understands them.