It's Not You, Really: Handling Story Rejection

If I took a poll, I'd bet that the top two writer fears would be fear your writing wasn't good enough, and fear of rejection. They go hand in hand since we all worry were not good enough and will be rejected. I'm going to continue with my New Year theme I've got going and say that I also bet a lot of folks are starting novels now or starting to submit novels now, and these things are on a lot of minds.

Let's talk about the first one first. What if you're not good enough?

This is something that is totally in your control, so there's no need to worry about it. If you're reading this blog, you're already taking steps to improve your writing. And truth is, no one is good enough when they start. So if you're worried about failing by not being good enough, you already have, so there's nowhere to go but up! (Okay, twisted logic there, but you know what I mean). Publishing isn't a one-shot deal, either. If you're not good enough today, you might be good enough next year. It's scary, but there have been tons of things we weren't good enough for all our lives, and then we learned, practiced, and got better.

When the "no" comes in (and let's face it, for 99.9% of us we'll get a lot of those before we get a yes), don't say, "I'm not good enough." Say, "I"m not good enough, yet." You're not out, you're just still in the warm up phase.

And then there's rejection.

They suck. Doesn't matter who or when or why, they still hurt. But take some comfort in the fact that this is beyond your control. If you've written the very best novel you can, there's nothing more you can do. People will either like it or not, and not everyone will, even if you're the top-selling author on the planet. There are authors out there who sell millions of books that I can't stand to read, and I'm sure you have ones you don't care for as well. Doesn't mean those books are bad, just that we didn't like them.

Take this a step further...

When you don't like a book, it isn't personal, right? You have no beef with the author or even the book. It just wasn't for you. Try to remember that when you get rejections, and it'll help them wash over you a little easier. And if you do find yourself thinking, "Gee, if they'd only done X Y and Z, it would have made the book so much better," (and come on, we're writers, who hasn't done this?) start thinking about your own work that way. Take any advice you get and think about this, and consider if X Y and Z would have made your book better, too.

You can also think about those early rejections as training. Even after you publish, you will still be rejected. I've gotten great feedback on The Shifter, but there are those out there who've posted they didn't like it (and no I'm not linking them). Sure, I pout for a moment, but you can't win over everyone. Build up the right attitude toward them now, and you'll make it that much easier when you do publish.

And then of course, there's the double whammy, "people won't like it" fear of rejection, which works on both these levels. This is also common, and you have both total control, and total lack of control over it. You control who you show your work to. You can limit your fear by starting out showing it to people who you know aren't going to hate it. (or if they do, won't tell you). Build your confidence and your skills until you feel more comfortable showing it to people who will offer you advice on how to make it better.

The lack of control part comes here. You can't control how they will feel. You can't even control how they will tell you how they feel. But this is a good step toward learning how to handle professional rejection and feedback, and if your dream is to be a published writer one day, these are skills you'll gonna need. Good new is, you get to decide how you build those skills, and you can take all the time you need to develop them.

Rejection has to be the worst aspect of writing, but having someone say, "I totally loved this story!" makes up for it. So make sure you keep those folks around, too, for the days when you need that pick me up.